Part of getting good with women is learning how to get past rejection and failure. In Part 2 of this series on getting past rejection and failure with women, I talk with another alumni Nick, about how he gets past failure and rejection when he goes out to meet women, as well as his journey to this point.
In case you missed it: Getting Past Rejection and Failure with Women – Part 1
As you’ll see in the video, Nick is a handsome guy. He even works as an actor and a model, but he still used to have a lot of problems attracting and connecting with (much less actually dating) women because he was very in his head, and robotic because he was trying too hard to “act” cool and confident (stand and talk the right way, have “perfect” body language, etc) without really feeling any of that or being in touch with his true emotions and his body…and he would get super reactive and upset any time he picked up on even the slightest hint that women didn’t like him or might be rejecting him.
So what did that train his brain to focus on? Looking for signs women didn’t like him. And what you focus on expands – he dreaded and feared and learned to expect women to reject him, so his mind was on guard and looking out for that…so he saw even more signs women didn’t like him and were going to reject him.
And then he would really reject himself (aka “self-reject”) because he’d freak out at any hint of a girl not being interested that his mind could find.
After working with Nick, he’s dropped a lot of that, and he’s almost the opposite now. Now, when Nick feels that anxiety rising about the potential a woman doesn’t like him or might reject him, he asks himself “Ok, can I just let that go and see what happens?” and then relaxes in his body. And a lot of the time, the entire interaction with the woman changes.
He’s changed his relationship with rejection and failure with women, and that’s changed his entire relationship with women.
Nick also makes the point that many men actually have a part of themselves they’re not even aware of that DOESN’T WANT or is afraid of connecting successfully with women, and that is part of attracting rejections and failures with women.
Because if you’re not attracting women and you’re a straight male, most likely you’re doing something to reject (or push away) the women. Nick and I go into all of this stuff further in the video.
Enjoy!
Watch Part 2: Getting Past Rejection and Failure with Women – Part 3
