Lots of men, myself included, can have a hard time with unwanted emotions and negative thoughts.
But this is something I’ve been working on for decades refining it into a simple process that anyone can follow.
Releasing is a meditative process of letting go of those blocks – emotional (and mental) junk that’s weighing you down and holding you back. It’s some of the most powerful stuff we teach, it’s built into all of our events, and it’s something I’ve studied from a lot of different teachers and adapted over years of practicing it in depth on myself and with our clients. So in this post, I want to teach you the basics of how to release all emotions the way we approach it here at FEARLESS.
I wrote about this a couple months ago in terms of believing in yourself, but I wanted to post about it again for people who don’t think of believing in themselves as the problem, or are specifically looking for releasing methods and may have missed the last post. And there will be some tweaks towards the end on how we went through it for that last post.
If you’re new to this idea of letting go…learning how to release all emotions, along with all beliefs, emotional attachments, thoughts, fears, insecurities, etc baggage that isn’t empowering you, is really such a powerful thing for your entire life.
Like I said, these blocks are what’s in your way of whatever you want in life that you don’t have or aren’t making really good progress towards.
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Success coach Dan Pena, the “$50 Billion Dollar Man” who holds weeklong business seminars at his castle in Scottland talks about the importance of your “emotional bank account” on what happens with your financial bank account. He spends the first half of the week on clients’ emotional bank accounts before he even gets to teaching them about making deals, building their businesses, and “how to get the fucking money,” as he puts it. Because getting the money is about getting your emotional bank account in order. That’s what releasing and letting go is all about.
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Most all of us go through periods of having trouble of truly letting go of things in our past, emotions, failures, heartbreak, etc. People will often say things like “just let it go!” or “Why do you care what people think…just stop caring!” … Advice along those lines actually is good advice on the surface, but the problem is that most people don’t know how to actually let things go and truly move on, free from whatever emotions they were dealing with.
Maybe you’ve heard people say things like “I’m over that,” or “I don’t care,” but you can tell it’s not fully true, if true at all. Maybe you’ve caught yourself doing that. Maybe you’ve pushed down emotions you want to release…but you know they’re really still there underneath the surface.
Releasing has been incredibly powerful in my life and the lives of countless clients of mine…and the students of many other teachers.
I continue to use and evolve it in my own life and to help clients change their lives faster and faster. I even now teach 3-day and weeklong intensives solely focused on how to release all emotions. There are a ton of different methods of releasing, and I’ll write future posts about other methods, but the most core method we use that I want to go over in this post is my take and little tweaks on “Sedona Method” releasing.
Don’t just read this passively – pick an emotion or an issue you want to work on and follow along to actually start letting that shit go!
Steps by Step Process To Release All Emotions
STEP #1 – Get Out of Your Head
This isn’t about logically analyzing your (supposed) problems. This is about your feelings and emotions.
Become aware of your heart – drop your attention to the feeling of it in your chest. If you get still and quiet your mind, you can even start to feel your heartbeat. If you’re having trouble, gently tapping your chest over your heart can help wake up sensation in that part of your body so you can get in touch with it.
Getting out of your head and into your body can be difficult. Here is a video that can help you get into your body.
STEP #2 – Identify the Emotion or Feeling
Pick a challenge, situation, or just an emotion you’re struggling with.
Now, what’s the feeling that comes up as you consider this issue?
Ie: Sadness, fear, hopelessness, anxiety, anger, not good enough. Or even just “uncomfortable,” or “tense,” if you can’t quite find the feeling or emotion. There’s no right answer – it’s what’s true for you and what comes up for you in the moment.
STEP #3 – Welcome it
Welcoming, or allowing is what how to release all emotions is actually all about: Removing your resistance to your feelings so they no longer have a hold on you. We’ll go into this in more depth in future posts, and I’ve probably talked about it in videos around the site, but for now just trust me that welcoming is the big key. It’s facing what’s really there, unlike forcing positive thinking.
Ask yourself: Could I welcome this feeling?
Allow yourself to feel what’s there as fully as you can. If it’s too much at first, that’s ok. Just welcome it as much as you can.
What does it feel like? Anger could manifest as tension in your chest, or sadness as tightness or a ball in your throat. Or general tightness or stiffness.
If you’re having a lot of trouble with identifying these feelings, you’re probably in some level of apathy. See if this video and blog post describing apathy resonate.
Sometimes, just by welcoming, the feeling releases on its own.
Ask Yourself the Three Questions
The key here is answering from your heart, not your head, and being very honest with yourself. The more honest and vulnerable you can be throughout this process, the more powerful it is. Trust your gut answer.
- Could I let this feeling go? (Yes or no.)
- Would I let it go? (Yes or no.)
- When?
Answering “no” is ok and on its own can be a powerful part of healing. Sometimes, the feeling releases anyway, or because you were honest with yourself and stopped resisting how you really feel. Yes, that can actually result in you letting it go.
If thoughts about “why” you can’t let something go start distracting you, return your attention to your heart, quiet your mind, and refocus on the feeling.
STEP 4 – Repeat
Whether you get an immediate “yes” and releases or not, feelings often have many layers or aspects to them. Some may go quickly and you’re done with it, but others will take a few, and sometimes many go-arounds.
STEP 5 – Appreciate
This is an important piece of how to release all emotions that are often missed.
Welcome the better feelings caused by the release. Even if “just” 1% – or a fraction of 1% – of the feelings released, that’s progress and you feeling a little better. Success, growth, and happiness throughout life are largely about tiny improvements, compounded over time. The more you allow yourself to celebrate those, the more attuned you’ll be to getting more improvement and more releases, and faster.
And the appreciation will make you feel better…which is what this is all about!
Take a moment to sit in and embrace and welcome the better or lighter feeling you’ve created. Congratulate yourself for the work you just did on yourself. Feel it in your body.
Then welcome a little more confidence, freedom from the heavy emotions, happiness – whatever truly resonates for you, and confidence in your ability to change and grow and release emotions. Even if it’s just a fraction of 1%.
Congratulate yourself for your honesty and vulnerability with yourself – especially if you allowed yourself to say “no”!
The Feelings Don’t “Come Back”
Sometimes, clients will tell me that something they’ve released on “came back.” I don’t want you to think about it this way – You did let go of something for good, but as we talked about above, many of our feelings and emotions have multiple layers to them. So when more, similar feelings come up, you’re welcoming and facing more of what’s there. You’re ready for more and you’re progressing.
Welcome Your Growing Ability to Truly Face, Walk Through, and Let Go of Emotional Junk…and Welcome Better Feelings
Letting go is something a lot of people never learn to do on their own and only do very slowly, over time, or when the pain gets bad enough that they finally have moments of surrender. Really spend some time welcoming your courageousness to actually facing this uncomfortable stuff and let bits (or maybe a lot) of it go. This is a life-altering practice of courageousness you’re learning!
And again welcome a little more freedom, courage, love, happiness, peace…whatever resonates and whatever you’re building towards. Because you don’t want to be just running away from something and worrying about how to release all emotions – you should have goals, a direction, and the way you want to feel in mind. This part of the welcoming process is especially about the direction you’re headed.
How do you want to feel? What emotions, beliefs, and other things do you want more of?
Freedom is a big one for people. Emotional freedom.
On Sedona Method creator Lester Levenson’s chart of emotions, the highest states of being are in “CAP”:
Courage
Acceptance
Peace … with peace being the highest emotion.
Others have included love to make it “CALP.” And remember, that can be all self-love, love for life, and even love for those who have hurt you.
So play with that, and welcome some more light, free, empowering feelings.
Don’t force more than what’s really there, but again, bask in those 1-percenters. They’re the key to more. This last part can be a great practice on its own, as long as you’re honest and vulnerable with yourself.
Remember, not everything will release right away. Sometimes it’s just saying “no” over and over and sitting in the emotion until something shifts in you and you really can let it go. But getting honest and consistent with this practice and celebrating the 1-percenters is the answer for how to let go of all emotions and welcome a much better, happier life.
Related:
Sedona Method Official Website
Start to REALLY Get Over Someone by Asking Yourself This Question
Achieve Your Goals Faster with the 1% Rule (Very Important for Releasing)
How To Release and Build Up Your Confidence and Self-Esteem
(Video) Use This Simple Releasing Exercise To Improve Your Dating Life
3 Steps to Stop Being So Hard on Yourself
