In this video, I demo what tension really looks like. What we teach here at Fearless is helping men develop this thing called tension and showing men how when tension is too much for them, they buckle or run away from it. But in reality the more you enjoy tension, welcome it, and the more you learn to handle it, the more you learn how to create attraction and build attraction with women
Transcript:
Brian: So in this video, I want to do a demo. We’ve been talking a lot about tension when we talked about vulnerability, emotion, connection, and we were talking about the container that men make, the groundedness in a sense and how it turns into a bubble and a really nice connection. So I want to bring up a model, run through a demo of some of this stuff, and so you can see it all kind of put together.
And what we’re going to do is do a quick demo on what tension looks like because a lot of guys, you know it, you see it, you hear it, but you don’t really understand it. As I stand here and look at Yazz, there’s a certain level of tension.
As I look at her it increases, as I look away, it’s decreases. You could feel that rise and fall in your body. If you can’t, then you need to develop that awareness. You have to feel down the front of the body and relax right through here. If you’re tightening up, it’s not going to work if you’re tense, it’s not going to work.
So if I look at her there’s tension, if I look away there’s less tension. I looked at her again – this tension and you can feel it rise and fall. If I’m comfortable and relaxed in my body, it feels really good. If I’m turned on, it can feel really good and she can feel that.
If I’m appreciative, she can feel that – she feels my emotions. Now, if I’m taking up through here and thinking a lot what’s she going to feel it? She’s gonna feel me primarily in my head and pulling away. What does it feel to. Yeah. I’m going to do it right now. I tighten up. Look at you,
Yazz: To me you are scared and I want to reject you, it’s like a bitterness.
Brian: So bitterness, have you ever heard of “What are you feeling”, “being in your head” “What are you thinking” in those terms, what do those terms mean to you?
Yazz: Being very worried about what the other person is thinking and they are pretending to be somebody else.
Brian: So when the guys in his head can you feel his emotions?
Yazz: Definitely, yeah! a lot of ego and insecurity.
Brian: A lot of ego and insecurity that how she says it. And as soon as I start going up into mu head and start thinking alot, is this close?
Yazz: You are getting a little lower her,
Brian: I gotta come up higher. So then I start to relax and I start to drop down at my body and I started to appreciate or enjoy you more as a person, as a human being and a beautiful woman.
Yazz: Yeah I can totally see that you are opening up to me, so you are welcomeing me into you, thats what I feel like, you’re opening to me
Brian: And that makes you more comfortable and actually enjoy talking to me. Whereas the other way, um, I would imagine it wouldn’t be fun. Right?
Yazz: Yeah, it feels secure and entrance into your bubble .
Brain: Perfect. Thank you. So I walked over to Yazz and I’m in my head like this you guys should be able to feel, if you’re aware, unless you are in your head yourself, you should feel the tension that I’m creating that not good. It’s just tension and opposition and pushing away.
Now if I step back and I relax, drop down, I start feeling down the core of my body, I open up and I walk over to her. I stay in that appreciative, good feeling energy, which I’m not faking by the way. It’s real. It feels very different and it feels very inviting.
So tension is all about that rise and fall of tension. The next piece is when I feel down here, she begins to feel my emotions. She doesn’t, she feels the rise and fall of tention to what makes her OK with that rise of tension makes her enjoy it actually can feel my emotions to all at the same time. And then if I sit here long enough with Yazz and I just enjoy her, are we start to create a little bubble and everything out here starts to kind of blur out and we have this moment is that connected space where you seem to be talking to somebody for a long time, you just seem to enjoy it. And I’m sure you’ve all had that. What’s that space like for you Yazz?
.Yazz: Um, that space, like for me, I’m starting to appreciate the masculinity and the sensitivity of
A man and I think that’s the great mix you want. And then you were like the open up. It makes you open up to the man, instead of feeling like you want to get away from that situation.
Brian: Perfect. Thank you. So, um, the other piece that I want to add now we play with emotion, play the tension and talked about it a little bit. I just did a little demo where I walk up, I’ll say hi and I can be doing the cashier grocery store and just be nice to people and really work on connecting with people that you don’t have to be attracted to just connect and enjoy a human being. It can be hi and how’s your day going?” and that’s teaching you to be more connected to people in general, which is important. Now there’s another aspect as you get better at this should become more sensitive to how it feels. And when I say hi to her, I can say hi and just really relaxed or I can say hi and be more intentional and what’s the difference between those two “his”?
Yazz: One is more open and the other one is more direct to you connects it hooks you. Right.
Brian: Good. So the term we were using as is very penetrating gaze and I intentionally narrow my gaze my age just a little bit because I’m feeling down my body. And I give her a little bit more of my intention. Hi, I am here to be seen. And she immediately knows why when a guy does that too, and I think a lot of guys do this unconsciously are actually know how to do it. They don’t really understand what they’re doing. When a guy does that, what does that mean to you? If I walk up, let’s say I meet you for the first time, I’m like, and I’m stepping into this tension.
Yazz: When you step into that tension, the time disappears.
Brian: And what I did to be penetrating, what does that, does that say the relaxed tension.
Yazz: I can totally tell that you like me and you want to know me
Brian: I wanted you guys to know that. So a lot of guys learn this unconsciously and they develop the skill and they don’t been known to develop it, but women, they know this stuff, they see it all the time. They’re seeing and they see some guys walk up and this is really bad. I was like, you’re stoned all the time and I don’t even smoke pot and it’s amazing. I walk up, I started blurring out high, and then how does that one feel?
Yazz: Just bad, I don’t like it, it’s very insecure
Brian: So yes, you will not be received well with that one because there’s no presence in it and women need your presence to be attracted. It’s huge. They need it more than anything else and we’re gonna. Get into more of the reasons why that is. So the man’s job and talk about it is to be the container and that container allows you to create a bubble and that container is done by being solid and creating a space where I know what’s going on around here I am managing the tension of the space and this allows her to surrender and drop into her feminine for you and be a woman, a girl, feminine, giggly, playful, which is what you guys enjoy so much.
So I want to invite you guys, start mastering these energies were to go a lot deeper into these in some of the, um, future videos where we go deeper and how to create attraction by holding this space. But I wanted to show the basics of what it looks like. I’m going to go through it one more time. So you see it. There’s tension, just basic tension. I’m walking up “hi” basic tension. Now I’m going to drop down into my body, am relaxing on my stomach a little bit more and open up my walk up, start opening more motion to come through, a little more, turn on “hi”. And now I’m going to be a little more penetrating at the energy to look at her and I dropped down, look into her, get a little turned on and enjoy a little bit.
Those make all the difference in the world and if we’re going to get into a little bit of rejection and testing next. But, but I think, I’m hoping you guys can all see this on camera because it’s super important and super subtle. And is there anything you’d want to say about what I just did? Those three different energies to the guys? Anything, any comments or anything you want to add.
Yazz: I think for a woman we are always looking that, if its sexual or not, we like to be surrounded by grounded man and would like to feel secure and protected and that’s my advice.
Brian: Awesome. And uh, we’ll, we’ll be coming back with another demo soon when we were talking about why women test you and how to deal with rejection and a dealing with aggressive energy that’s coming out to you and how do you handle that with, before you say a word, and they won’t get any of the techniques of the specific techniques of communication, developing communication skills later. But it all starts on this energy. Your ability to relax into your body and enjoy your body. And enjoy your emotions, let her completely see you enjoying, which is the vulnerability and still stepping into tension while you do it, which is what she needs to know about a man in front of her. So I’ll see you on the next video.
Want to learn more about how to develop your tension skills? Check out our upcoming Fearless Man Live event – it’s the perfect place for you to develop your tension skills and change your reality with women.
