There are certain qualities that a man can exhibit that are universally attractive to women. Even if a man is not a woman’s particular “type,” if he has cultivated these qualities she will experience “turn-on” when in his presence. This mini-series is a primer to the 8 Qualities that I teach in depth during our live events.
If you’ve missed any of the first three qualities, catch up here:
#1 – Grounding #2 – Tension #3 – Being Decisive
Listening and Feeling – What Is It/What Do I Mean?
This quality is listening and feeling rolled into one. It’s the idea of really being tuned in to the communication you’re receiving. It means not just hearing the words a women says, but also reading and hearing what’s being communicated underneath the words on an emotional level as well.
People are constantly sub-communicating deeper and often very different meanings from just the words they’re saying.
This is where cultivating your intuition comes into play. Most men completely miss out on developing this quality, so when women meet a rare man who really “gets it” on this level, they aren’t likely to let you go easily. Men who embody this quality naturally are usually the ones who have tons of attractive women around them.
Why It’s Important
An important thing a women needs is the ability for a man to listen when she speaks. But this doesn’t mean literally repeating back the words she says!
What I mean here is that you can feel her emotions and what she’s communicating underneath the words. This is why it drives women NUTS when you just repeat back the words they say when they ask you if you’re listening. You heard the words but you weren’t connected with her emotionally. If you can feel her emotions, you can feel her subtle cues. Some examples of this are when she’s pulling away, when she’s pushing forward, or saying one thing but meaning another. If you can pick up on this type of communication, then you can “dance” with her more.
This doesn’t mean you’re giving her what she wants all the time, but that you’re more deeply connected in conversation with her.
You can feel and see her turn-on even when the words she’s saying might not be related to attraction or sex. That’s important for establishing deeper, more intimate connections. You’ll be able to start sensing all of this more and more clearly as you develop more feeling.
Guys who have trouble getting women to call them back need to work on this one especially. Your communication probably isn’t going deeper than the surface level, so women aren’t feeling anything in their hearts when they speak to you. When you begin to cultivate this degree of listening and feeling, women will begin to like and trust you more.
How To Do It / Develop It
1.Heart Meditations – Rocking
Ability to feel comes from the upper body. I recommend doing heart meditations and other practices that focus on feeling into your heart. Here’s one: focus on your upper body and slowly rock your chest back and forth while feeling your heart lead the way. Work on just feeling into your heart as it flows back and forth in a smooth rocking motion. Do this for about 10 minutes.
2. Heart Meditations – Windows Opening
Another one is to picture your chest opening like a window and the heart moving outwards, and then feel it moving back into your body and stopping in place. Then imagine the same process, but your heart is moving out of a window on your back and then returning to the center.
If you don’t like either of these, there are tons more heart meditation and awareness exercises available online.
Being aware of the heart and how it connects to the rest of your body starts to tune up your sense of awareness and emotional acuity.
Next up: Creating and managing the “Container.” Read that one here.
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