The Power of Indifference to Outcome and Letting Go

Your growth is fastest and your success is greatest when you let go of attachment to outcome…and then let go of the outcomes as they happen.

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in 2015. The post has been updated, while the video is in its originally published form.

Practicing indifference to outcome is one of the most powerful things you can do for your personal development with women, career, money, health…everything. You can-and should-still have strong intentions (especially when it comes to dating and approaching women), goals, energy, and focus, but the more you can surrender to and focus on the process, the faster you’ll grow and succeed. The more you can let go of your emotional attachments to the outcome (to validation from girls, for example) and enjoy the journey and the present moment, the more the very outcomes you’re hoping for will come to you. But it’s vice versa if you don’t. You make it hard on yourself the other way.

Imagine a guy walking into a job interview or approaching women with a drive, intention, and goals for his life, but true indifference to the outcome. No emotional attachment to whether he gets the job or gets the girl-or any girl that day, for that matter. He’s going to feel very confident and attractive to women or the people interviewing him for the job.

Now imagine that same guy approaching girls or walking into that interview with all his emotions, his self-worth, his happiness-riding on getting the girl (or, again, even any girl that day) or on getting the job.

Which version of that man is more likely to succeed?

And with any new skill or really anything you’re working on in life, you must also develop consistency. Consistency, consistency, consistency. I can’t say it enough. Without consistency, you just won’t see the results you want. You won’t lose weight or get in shape, get that business off the ground, learn a new language, or measurably improve your confidence and connection skills.

With that, taking on too much to begin with and pushing, pushing, pushing too much can burn you out and then ruin your consistency. Start with small, manageable practices that you’re confident you can be uber-consistent with: taking a 5-minute walk three times a week, spending 15 minutes per day working on your business idea, spending 10 minutes per day learning the new language, talking to one woman you’re attracted to every day (even if it’s just a quick “hello” at first).” Expand on that as you get a handle on the first steps and as they start to feel like an automatic part of your daily life.

That way, you won’t get burned out before you ever get things really moving, and if it’s something that you end up really loving, you’ll probably dive much deeper into it and make it a bigger, more important part of your life.

But it’ll be a natural, smoother progression that you’re much less likely to burn out from.

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