Women throw tests at men – and men test each other, too – to see how confident you are, and to encourage you to get more solid and confident as a man. In this video, Brian discusses the three primary reasons women test men, and how you can better handle – and even have fun with – their tests.
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in November 2016.
Brian explains social testing as a whole and how to pass the tests and tension girls and all people throw at you. The secret – as it is in many areas at FEARLESS – is learning to relax into tension unaffected. It’s another form of indifference to outcome. That’s true confidence, and it’s one of the best, most authentic ways to build connections with all people…and turn women on like crazy.
Transcript:
The more women test you and push those buttons, and the better you handle it – the more they respect you and get attracted to you. Now there’s 3 reasons why women test men:
Take a little child, and the little child’s mad. And you just sit there and relax, and enjoy the child. And the child “Arr” screams. You don’t change, you just keep that safe space for the child. Pretty soon the child relaxes a little more, a little more, a little more. And pretty soon the child likes you and wants to play. Because you stayed solid and consistent. Now the child can trust you.
That’s indifference to outcome. And you’re learning to develop that with all human beings – not just women, everybody. How many grumpy guys are out there that test you hard? What if you join a – like a hardcore sports team, or something like that? Don’t the guys test you immediately? Other guys are like, “Who the fuck is this? Where does he land in the ranking of our team? How strong is he? Can he handle it?” Guys test the shit out of each other.
That’s nature’s way of either you manning up or you quitting and getting out. You’re strengthening. And it’s unconscious and unconscious mechanism that you can create and make conscious. And the more women do it to you – the more women test you and push those buttons, and the better you handle it – the more they respect you, and get attracted to you.
There’s 3 reasons women test, and I’ll throw them out really quick. One is where they’re insecure. “I’m fat. I’m fat. You don’t like me, I’m fat.” Whatever. “These jeans don’t look good on me.” That’s their insecurity. Too much of that gets annoying and causes me to lose attraction. The other one is where you’re insecure. And that’s a powerful woman. She sees an insecurity and she’s going to poke a little bit, see what you do. Poke a little bit and see what you do. Poke a little bit. And you step into it and own it, open up in it – ooh sexy. Suddenly it doesn’t even bother her anymore. She doesn’t care.
She may be poking because you’re chubby, you’re too short, you don’t have enough of this or that. And then you handle it well, and she just gets over it. She’s done. “Okay, not going to go there anymore.” Doesn’t bother her. Now it’s sexy. And the third one is when she just wants to get turned on. She just wants to poke at you so she can get aroused. She’s like, “Oh, can I slap you again?” Or whatever. And you’re, “Yeah, go for it.”
And then you stay solid – now she’s getting more aroused, and more aroused. She’s getting wetter and wetter. She just wants to fuck. And that’s part of her mechanism for wanting to fuck. Pushing sometimes, “Oh, you’re a dork.” You’ll feel it, it’s a different energy. It’s playful. Maybe she just wants to get turned on, but then suddenly she gets turned on – next thing you know she wants to fuck. Or maybe she’s just having fun, or you never know.
Here is a great video from Brian’s friend, Marni, on more reasons why women test men.
