Too often, well-meaning life advice from mainstream society, your teachers, your friends and peers, and even your family is actually coming from a place of insecurity, fear and limiting beliefs, and an aversion to truly living outside of your comfort zone.
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in April 2018.
Those who grow up in the middle class are often taught to value a “safe, secure” job and a “safe, secure” life. But this can really keep your life small, prevent you from actually going after your dreams and finding much true fulfillment in your work or life, and actually can turn out not to be as secure as people think after all.
“So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality,” Jim Carrey once said in a college commencement speech.
“My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that was possible for him. So he made a conservative choice and instead he got a job as an accountant.
“When I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job,” he said. “Our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which is that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”
Another misguided belief is that tension is something to be avoided in life, work, and relationships. Hopefully, if you’ve been reading or watching my content for any period of time, you know how wrong this one is, and how important it is to expand your ability to step into, relax in, and even enjoy tension.
The last one I’ll touch on right now is so prevalent that it’s hard for a lot of people to shift away from at first, or even accept: Positive Thinking. How most people do positive thinking is actually denial and suppression or repression of how they really feel.
That doesn’t actually deal with the negative emotions, thoughts, and beliefs. It only pushes them down to fester and give you a sense of uneasiness, feeling like something’s off, anxiety, periodic breakdowns when you just can’t hold it in anymore, and etc.
It’s also where you see those people who are obsessed with personal growth, spirituality, and positivity who have those crazy smiles and looks on their face. It’s weird, right?! That’s because they’re faking everything and pushing their true feelings down.
So with that said, the following videos can help you shift your attitude towards popular mindsets that may be doing you more harm than good.
The Curse Of The Middle Class
Because of the aversion to risk and failure we talked about above, sometimes those in the middle class can actually get more stuck where they’re at – financially and also in terms of feeling fulfilled and excited by life – than those who start out (or at some point experience) poverty. Let’s talk about embracing living outside your comfort zone in this video.
Decisiveness and Being Cool Under Pressure
Something many people are afraid of is making quick decisions (that means tension) in pressure situations (also tension) or even just little fleeting pressure moments. That is also a quality that’s nearly universal in men who are highly attractive to and good with women. In this video, I’ll teach you all about the importance of being decisive and cool under pressure and how to begin to shift your relationship to decisions and pressure in your own daily life.
The Dangers of “Positive Thinking”
As I wrote about above, denying the existence of problems in your life, or negative emotions, thoughts, or feelings doesn’t actually deal with any of the things you’re denying. But focusing on just your “problems” or wallowing in negativity isn’t the answer, either! In the video below, I’ll teach you about balancing it all more healthily and effectively.
Think about how you can live outside your comfort zone more often, be more decisive (even small things like just making decisions quicker on what to order at restaurants or whether to accept invitations to go out with friends can be a good start if you notice that you hesitate a lot in those areas), and be more honest with yourself and others about how you feel.
And then, commit and practice!
If you have any questions tweet me @brianfearless!
