Most guys don’t know how to compliment a woman in a way that doesn’t make them seem like a creep.
When it comes to flirting, most men feel like they’re walking on eggshells. They worry about coming off as creepy, weird, or awkward if they compliment a woman – especially when they’re hoping to flirt with her.
Let’s go over some keys for how to compliment a woman without being creepy. First and foremost, keep your compliments genuine and honest. Second, make sure your compliments are specific rather than generic. Third, avoid using sexualized language when giving compliments. And finally, be mindful of the timing and context of your compliments.
Following these 8 simple tips for how to compliment a woman, you’ll be able to make her feel good while avoiding any awkwardness or creepiness.
1. Focus on What You Like About Her
The first piece to how to compliment a woman without being creepy is…not focusing on being creepy.
What you focus on expands. If your mind is focused on worrying about “Am I being creepy?” or “I don’t want to be creepy,” then you’re going to be anxious, in your head, disconnected from the woman you’re trying to talk to and compliment, and disconnected from actually feeling the words you’re saying and what you want to compliment her about.
That’s all going to make you come off as stiff, emotionally shut off and disconnected, analytical or robotic, and inauthentic…and that‘s what can make you come off as creepy.
As billionaire Virgin founder Richard Branson talks about in his struggles to overcome social anxiety, focus more on the people you’re interacting with than your nerves or fears.
In this case, focus on what you like about her, enjoying that and her overall presence, and on being curious about her. Make her your focus.
If your fear of being creepy still feels debilitating, then work on releasing on (letting go of) those fears, take a look at your sexual shame, and start a confidence journal.
2. Call it out.
When your nerves feel overwhelming or something feels awkward, call it out.
“…That felt a little awkward. I’m kinda shy and I’m working on my confidence, and you’re so (beautiful, cute, sexy…whatever feels true for you in the moment) that I’m a little nervous.”
“Hey, I’m kinda shy and I’m working on my confidence, but I wanted to tell you _____.”
The more you can own it without feeling the need for her to validate you or make it ok, the more attractive you’ll be.
3. Tell Her What’s REALLY On Your Mind
Just like calling things out, being authentic to what you’re really thinking and feeling is another key to how to compliment a woman without being creepy.
If what got your attention was how overall sexy she is, but you want to avoid tension, play it safe, and tell her “I like your shoes” because you think that’s what she wants to hear, that’s going to come off as lame, inauthentic, or even…creepy. It probably just won’t feel right to her. Certainly not powerful.
I’m not saying to go up and tell her you want to sleep with her as the first words out of your mouth – you don’t even know her and haven’t connected with her emotionally, yet – but tell her why you’re REALLY approaching her.
4. S-L-O-W Down and FEEL It
As I touched on already, part of what can make you come off as creepy or awkward is being stuck in your head and not actually feeling the words you’re saying.
It’s what separates the great actors whose performances captivate and move you from the ones who come off as campy or take you out of the scene and remind you that you’re watching actors play a role.
Even if the compliment you’re saying is true for you, but you’re all up in your head worrying and not feeling or enjoying her or the words you’re saying, the delivery will come off forced, robotic, disconnected, apologetic, or some combination.
Imagine a nervous guy, worrying excessively about being creepy, going up to a woman and telling her she’s beautiful or sexy. How does that look and feel?
Now imagine that same guy again. Maybe he’s still a little nervous, but he puts more attention on the girl, what he likes about her, and how that makes him feel. He even finds some enjoyment in his nerves – like the scary but fun feeling of going on a roller coaster, skydiving, driving fast, whatever’s scary and fun at the same time for you – and compliments the woman from that place. How does that look and feel?
Hopefully you can see that the second version of that guy would be much more likely to connect well with the woman than the first version.
Get in touch with how she and what you like about her makes you feel.
Does the sparkle in her eyes make you feel warmer or make your heart beat faster? Does how that dress hugs her curves physically turn you on? Does the sight of her all done up or the way she’s looking at you even make you a little nervous or give you butterflies?
Feel and enjoy the words as you say them. When you’re really feeling what you’re saying, how to compliment a woman without being creepy isn’t nearly as much of an issue because there’s so much life, enjoyment, emotion, and a connected human behind the words.
And S L O W I N G. Down. Your. Delivery…can seriously help you actually feel and enjoy the words.
5. Let Yourself Get Turned On
Unless you’re giving a woman a compliment just to give more genuine compliments (which is a beautiful exercise and habit, too), you’re doing it because you like or are attracted or at least intrigued by her.
So let yourself enjoy her and get turned on! That’s what this is about.
This is really a part of feeling it, but so many men shut down or shame their sexual attraction and turn-on, and many dating “experts” and coaches fail to get men to embrace their sexuality.
If you shut down your turn-on – especially if you then tell her anything remotely sexual – she won’t feel it from you, it’s likely to come off as stiff or analytical, and that again is what can make you come off as creepy.
Embracing your sexuality and the fact that something about her turns you on is an important part not just of how to compliment a woman without being creepy, but also avoiding overly platonic conversations that go nowhere but the friend zone.
6. Work on Being More Grounded
Being grounded helps you manage your nerves, get out of your head and into the moment, focus on her, feel it, call things out, and everything else we’ve talked about.
Checking in with how your feet feel on the ground and how the backs of your legs feel against your clothes can by itself help you start to be more present and grounded, but if you’re new here and you find yourself – or others find you – to be a really nervous person or if you get really anxious when you talk to (or even thinking about talking to) women, learning more about grounding can help.
7. Be Connected and Pay Attention to Her
This is related to a lot of what we’ve already gone over, but it’s very important. Are you actually present in the moment? Are you looking into her eyes and holding solid eye contact? Are you paying attention to the vibes and emotions she’s expressing, verbally and especially non-verbally?
If you’re not really there in the moment, paying attention to her and connecting with her through the eyes, that can come off very creepy.
8. Let Go of Attachment to Outcome and Needing Validation
We all like validation. And when you go talk to a girl you’re attracted to, you may have an outcome you’re hoping for.
All that’s fine. The problem is when we’re attached to the outcome and ooze of seeking validation underneath our words. This attachment and validation seeking can make your words give her an uneasy or creeped out feeling. Or just not make much of an impact at all.
So work on letting go of being attached to whether she takes the compliment in or not, and not just saying it to get her validation or get her to like you.
If this is a big stumbling block for you, check out my post on How To Be More Attractive to Women by Developing Your Indifference to Outcome.
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Don’t try to remember or work on everything here at once. Read through it, pick one thing that connects with where you’re at the most, and start there. Work on one thing at a time.
Even getting a little better with just one of these elements could be your answer for how to compliment a woman without being creepy, because it’ll move you away from being in your head, worrying about being creepy.
Or maybe you’re reading this and realizing how to compliment a woman without being creepy isn’t as big a concern for you as you’d thought. If that’s the case, this piece goes further into complimenting women effectively. Parts of it are repetitive, but it goes a lot deeper.
Compliments are a great way to make someone feel good, but it’s important to remember how to give them in order to avoid any creepiness or awkwardness. By following these 8 simple tips, you’ll be able to compliment women in a way that makes them feel good and appreciated. Have you tried giving compliments following these guidelines? What was the reaction of the woman you gave them to?
Get out there and practice!
Related:
The Most Overlooked Skill to Attract Women – Be a Great, Connected Listener
How to Hold a Conversation with a Girl
Do This Exercise Every Day For 30 Days
