Fear – and not having a good relationship to fear – can be one of the biggest reasons you’re holding back in life and not getting what you really want out of life, so today I want to take you through the steps to begin to release fear (aka letting go, releasing, or allowing) TODAY so you can move through it towards whatever you want to achieve.
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in November 2018.
If you’re new to releasing, it’s a meditative process of letting go of emotional (and mental) garbage that’s weighing you down and holding you back. It’s some of the most powerful stuff we teach and it’s built in to all of our events.
There are many different ways of releasing but this one is based on Sedona Method, with some of the tweaks I use.
Don’t just read this passively – let yourself go into a fear you’ve been dealing with and follow along so you get an experience of it and start to truly release fear.
The FEARLESS Steps to Release Fear
- Get Out of Your Head
This isn’t about logically analyzing your fear or supposed problems. This is about your feelings and emotions.
Become aware of your heart – drop your attention to the feeling of it in your chest. If you get still and quiet your mind, you can even start to feel your heartbeat. If you’re having trouble, gently tapping or massaging your chest over your heart can help wake up feeling there so you can get in touch with it. - Identify the Fear you Want to Release
Pick a challenge or situation that brings up fear for you. - Welcome it
Welcoming, or allowing is what how to release fear (or any other emotion) is truly about: Removing your resistance to it so the fear no longer has such a hold on you. It’s facing what’s really there and walking through the fear, unlike forcing positive thinking. - Ask yourself: Could I welcome this fear?
Allow yourself to feel what’s there as fully as you can. If it’s too intense to let yourself feel it fully right now, that’s ok. Just welcome the fear as much as you can. What does the fear feel like? It could feel like heaviness in your chest or stomach or throat, shakiness, or general tightness or stiffness. There’s no right or wrong answer. (Note: If you can’t feel the fear at all, you’re going to have a hard time releasing fear, and you’re probably in apathy. See if this video and blog post describing apathy resonate.) Sometimes, you can release fear just by welcoming it – the fear releases on its own. - Ask Yourself the Three Questions
The key here is answering from your heart, not your head, and being very honest with yourself. The more honest and vulnerable you can be throughout this process, the more powerful it is and the more effectively you can release fear. Trust your gut answer. - Could I let this fear go? (Yes or no.)
- Would I let it go? (Yes or no.)
- When?
Answering “no” is ok and can be powerful on its own. Sometimes, the fear releases anyway, or because you were honest with yourself and stopped resisting how you really feel. Yes, that can actually result in you letting it go.If thoughts about “why” you can’t release fear start distracting you, return your attention to your heart, quiet your mind, and refocus on the now feeling in your body.6. Repeat
Whether you get an immediate “yes” and releases or not, fears and other feelings often have many layers and pieces. You may become aware of other fears or other emotions entirely underneath or attached to the original fear you were working on. Some may go quickly and you’re done with it, but others will take a few, and sometimes many rounds of this.7. Appreciate
Appreciation is an important, often overlooked piece of how to release fear. Welcome the better feelings created by the release. Even if “just” 1% – or a fraction of 1% – of the fear that left, that’s progress and you feeling less fearful. Truly moving past fear – and success throughout life – is often about very small improvements, compounded over time. The more you let yourself feel good about those, the more attuned you’ll be to getting more improvement and bigger, faster releases.And the appreciation will make you feel better…which is what this is all about!Take a moment to sit in and embrace and welcome the better or lighter feeling you’ve created. Congratulate yourself for the work you just did on yourself. Feel it in your body.
Then welcome a little more confidence, freedom from the fear, the feeling of emotional freedom itself, happiness – whatever resonates for you, and confidence in your ability to change and grow and let go of fear. Even if it’s just a fraction of 1%.
Congratulate yourself for your honesty and vulnerability with yourself – especially if you allowed yourself to say “no”!
8. The Feelings Don’t “Come Back”
Sometimes, clients will tell me that something they’ve released on “came back.” I don’t want you to think about it this way – You did let go of some fear for good, but as we talked about above, your fears often have multiple layers to them. So when more, similar fears and feelings arise, you’re welcoming and facing more of what’s there. You’re ready for more and you’re progressing.9. Welcome Your Growing Ability to Truly Face, Walk Through, and Let Go of Emotional Junk…and Welcome Better Feelings
Actually, genuinely letting go is something a lot of people never learn to do on their own and only do very slowly, over time, or when the pain gets bad enough that they finally have moments of surrender or forcing themselves to run headfirst into the fear. Really spend some time welcoming your courageousness to actually facing this uncomfortable stuff and let little pieces (or maybe big pieces) of it go. This is a truly transformational practice of courageousness you’re learning!And again welcome a little more freedom, courage, love, happiness, peace…whatever resonates and whatever you’re building towards. Because you don’t want to be just running away from fear and worrying about how to release fear – you should have goals, a direction, and the way you want to feel in mind. This part of the welcoming process is especially about the direction you’re headed.
How do you want to feel? What emotions, beliefs, and other things do you want more of?
Freedom is a big one for people. Emotional freedom.
On Sedona Method releasing creator Lester Levenson’s chart of emotions, the highest states of being are in “CAP”:
Courage
Acceptance
Peace … with peace being the highest emotion.Explore that, and welcome some more light, free, empowering…FEARLESS 😉 feelings!
Don’t force more than what’s really there, but again, bask in those 1-percenters. They’re the key to more. This last part can be a great practice on its own, as long as you’re honest and vulnerable with yourself.
Remember, not everything will release right away. Sometimes it’s just saying “no” over and over and sitting in the emotion until something shifts in you and you really can let it go. But getting honest and consistent with this practice and celebrating the 1-percenters is the answer for how to let go of all emotions and welcome a much better, happier life.
Releasing has been incredibly powerful in my life and the lives of countless clients of mine…and the students of many other teachers.
I continue to use and evolve it in my own life and to help clients change their lives faster and faster. I even now teach 3-day and weeklong intensives focused on how to let go.
Related:
Sedona Method Official Website
Start to REALLY Get Over Someone by Asking Yourself This Question
Achieve Your Goals Faster with the 1% Rule (Very Important for Releasing)
How To Release and Build Up Your Confidence and Self-Esteem
(Video) Use This Simple Releasing Exercise To Improve Your Dating Life
3 Steps to Stop Being So Hard on Yourself
