In this video, we’ll talk about how to be giving. And the truth is, you can’t be your best self or truly be giving until you’re selfish enough to prioritize your own life and success. Being selfish is a key to success and it’s good for the world.
Who comes first in your life? You, or everybody else? The biggest philanthropists in the world have all had the power to help others so much because they were “selfish” and prioritized their own lives first. They made huge successes of themselves and that gave them great power to be giving and help others.
I’m not telling you that you need to be a billionaire before you can be giving, but if you’re at the opposite end of the spectrum – if you make others’ needs a bigger priority than your own needs and your own life – it’s probably actually coming deep down from a place of guilt and shame and codependency. If you constantly sacrifice yourself for others, it also says a lot about your self-esteem and how you feel about yourself.
That behavior also embeds a little bit of resentment in all your interactions with people you’re “being giving” with. And/or you’re expecting something in return without making that clear. That’s a covert contact, and though you might not mean it this way, it’s actually dishonest and manipulative.
And you can’t really be giving in an effective way for very long if you’re not taking care of your own life and needs first. Imagine an extreme version of this taken to the max: You constantly bend over backwards for everyone else to the point of neglecting everything you need to do to take care of your financial needs and your health. You end up sick and homeless. Now you’re sick and homeless, and you aren’t helping anyone.
Can you see how even much subtler versions of this aren’t great ways of living or being giving to others?
What you want to do is what I call being “healthy selfish”: Prioritize YOUR life and your basic needs first so you can be giving to others in a powerful, sustainable way without coming from a place of resentment or covert contracts (like giving to get).
This also relates to “nice guy syndrome” and Why Nice Guys Finish Last.
Enjoy the video and check out the link above if being nice and finishing last with women resonates with you.
And if you want to learn how to be “healthy selfish” and successfully go after what you want from me in person…and kick your tail into action for two nights with like-minded men, check out The Fearless Man Live seminar.
