Build Your Confidence by Saying Hello to 100 Strangers

The very first real-world exercise we coach students through in the “FEARLESS Experience” workshop is called “100 Hellos.”

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in May 2017.

It’s the beginning of an evening of social freedom exercises designed to start pushing your comfort zone and building your confidence as you desensitize to talking to strangers, stop caring so much about what other people think, and start learning to really connect authentically with people.

The goal of the exercise is to go to a busy street, mall, or other area and say hi to 100 people in a row, without stopping or skipping anyone – men, women, old people, young people.

But it’s about more than just saying “hello.”

You want to make eye contact with each person – really look into them and connect with them through your eyes, even if it’s only for a split second.

You also want to slow down – physically, verbally, and ESPECIALLY mentally. It’s all about working on getting out of your head and dropping your awareness into your body – your heart, your feet against the ground, etc – feeling your body and emotions, and feeling the emotions of the people you’re saying hello to.

Don’t worry if you miss a few – or many – people at first. But not skipping anyone is the goal to strive for.

The more relaxed, in your body, and connected you are to other people when you say hello to them, the more people will respond to you.

If you have trouble getting people to respond to you, you’re probably rushing or anxious, too quiet, or disconnected/in your head. Keep working on it!

Another thing to watch is if you’re getting their attention and saying hello in time for them to hear you and process the fact that you’re talking to them before they walk past you. If you only say hello right as you two walk by each other, the person won’t have enough time to respond – if they even realize you said something. You want to engage them at least a few feet before you pass each other. You have to learn to feel out the timing, how fast you two are walking past each other, if they’re distracted by something, etc.

Remember, people on the street are often in their own bubbles, in their own heads, and dealing with their own insecurities and what’s going on in their day. You have to penetrate through all that.

Along those lines, it can be helpful to make eye contact – again, that’s where the connection really happens – before you say hi.

But many times that just won’t happen, and that’s when you use your voice and words to get their attention, followed by connecting through your eyes and smile.

In “The Experience” we coach people through this right over their shoulders, but it’s something you can start practicing on your own now to start expanding your social freedom (your confidence) and pick up on many subtleties of quickly connecting with people.

The more you do it, the more and more you’ll learn! You’ll be surprised at just how deep this one little exercise can go and how much it can do for your overall sense of self-confidence.

Just remember to work on being aware of your body and not thinking too hard, being connected, and genuinely being interested in the people you’re connecting to.

Each little connection can be a beautiful little moment in your day.

So schedule a day and time for yourself, pick a good, busy place where lots of people will be walking around, and start practicing.

And think about coming to an event-The Experience is an incredibly intensive, personalized, small group (8-10 students max depending on where the workshop is) 2.5 day weekend with transformation packed days and nights.

It’s also not for everyone.