In this video, I answer a viewer question about why men are expected to approach and initiate flirting – and often, later, kissing and intimacy – with women. Men often think that they “have to do all the work,” but they’re overlooking a lot of things here. It has to do with our evolutionary roles and what women (and men) are still naturally attracted to today.
Evolutionarily, men needed to be good with tension to keep women and their children safe. And women needed to be good with emotions and caretaking to make sure her children, her man, and even others in their community are doing well or if someone was in trouble.
The tension is in the approach, and (while respecting and being attentive to where she’s at emotionally) leading in the seduction, escalating physical intimacy, etc. Leading. The caretaking and emotional sensitivity is more in the forming of deeper connections and relationships.
Also, our society and media today still plays into these interests…because again, it’s what men and women still tend to generally be drawn to.
As for the idea of men “doing all the work” and women “not having to do anything,” I go into this in the video as well.
