Being a confident man is largely about being good with tension, but what makes some men naturally confident and some men less confident or very shy?
(If you’re new here and unfamiliar with the idea of tension relating to your confidence, start here: The 8 Qualities Of A Confident and Masculine Man: Tension Skills)
This viewer asks: There are guys that are good with tension and guys that aren’t good with tension. What makes the biggest difference? Education? Conditioning? Biology?
The answer is all of it. To some degree, I’d say that there’s probably some epigenetics involved, biology, depending on who you’re born to, when you’re born, that kind of thing. Of course, there’s a lot of conditioning as you grow up:
-What kind of environment did you grow up in?
-What was modeled for you? Does your father ground well, does your mom ground well, do your siblings ground well? (Start learning about being grounded here.)
-Other people you spent a lot of time around – the friends you hung out with, the teachers you spent time with, groups you were in (cub scouts, boy scouts, martial arts, wrestling other sports)
All of these things over time can affect how good you are with tension and how “naturally” confident you are.
But if you’re not born with it and you don’t pick it up in your upbringing, tension skills and your confidence are totally things you can develop. I certainly wasn’t born with it and didn’t have any good role models for it as I grew up. I developed it in my body over time. I worked hard and kept developing my tension skills and confidence, and I still develop it further today.
My focus isn’t on ALL the ways these skills can be developed as much as it’s on what the most efficient way to develop it in somebody today is. Whether they already have some tension skills and confidence and they want to strengthen what they already have, or whether they have no skills with tension and need to develop it from scratch.
In the video, I give you some things to start looking at in the world to increase your awareness and learning about all of this.
Enjoy!
