Undeniably, there’s truth to the idea that many women gravitate towards “bad boys” over “nice guys,” but it’s not because women like being treated badly. And in truth, women do get attracted to both nice guys and bad boys, often going back and forth between the two types of men. In this video, Brian explores what can be a confusing, frustrating dynamic for many men.
For the purpose of this video, we’re comparing guys on the extreme ends of the spectrum. For example:
-a true, “I don’t give a fuck,” cold-hearted player or asshole
…and on the other end of the spectrum:
-the epitome of “nice to a fault”: he cannot stand up for himself and has no boundaries, gets all his validation and sense of self-esteem (or lack thereof) from women and other external factors and making other people happy before taking care of himself.
Women often are drawn to the true bad boy like moths to a flame because he’s good with tension. He’s real. He says what he means and means what he says. When he tells a woman, “I like you,” she feels it and it makes an impact on her. He’s not boring – his candidness is exciting and magnetic because, again, he’s being more free, feeling what he says, and operating from a place of confidence much more than that of the nice guy.
However, the true bad boy also isn’t afraid of hurting her, and he may well not really care if he does. So when a woman gets burned by a bad boy, she may (consciously, subconsciously, or a mixture of both) look for a nice guy. He’s safer, he’ll tell her what she wants to hear, treat her generally well (at least at the surface level – underneath the surface, there may be other things – ie: nice guy syndrome manipulation and codependence – going on), and that may all feel really good for a while. Years, even.
But if she was ever drawn to the bad boy in the first place, there’s a good chance the nice-guy schtick will get old, stale, or even repulsive at some point. Some women go through continual cycles of going from bad boy to nice guy and around and around.
But there is another, superior type of man…enjoy the video!
