Andy Smith is an independent contributor. His views do not necessarily reflect those of FEARLESS.
Every male species possesses a unique set of traits that shape his personality and define why he acts the way he does. Depending on your male traits, your personality can be classified under categories that fit your description. There are many personality types like omega male and gamma male, but we’ll focus more on alphas and betas.
The famous term alpha male or the “Bad Boy” persona is a term that we see continuously thrown about in popular media and the world. The idea of the bad boy is that a man who is strong, aggressive, powerful, and independent is wrong.
While the bad boy does have these characteristics, he is also typically a winner. We all know what a winner is, but what do we know about the alpha male traits?
I’m sure you’ve also wanted to become an alpha male. Many men who possess beta male traits compensate for what they lack by pretending to be alpha males.
But doing that will only make them less confident about themselves. So, what are the traits that make an alpha male? How do you become one? How do you know if you possess the traits of a beta male? Alpha male vs. beta male: which do you think is better? If you’re interested in finding out, I’ve got you covered.
The Alpha Male
Alpha males sit at the top of the hierarchy, especially in the animal kingdom. They are typically known to be strong, competent, and confident males who have a higher chance of gaining wealth, power, and even mates. Alpha males have often been considered the epitome of masculinity.
But these superficial things are not what makes a man truly alpha. The great thing about having alpha male traits is that you can be strong but still kind, confident with your strides but still know how to be humble, dominant but gentle, and full of power but calm and tempered.
It isn’t always about being the leader of the pack but the leader of your own life. It’s about being the driver of your journey and looking at the big picture before deciding to do something. It’s staying true to your principles and always carrying yourself with dignity.
This is what it actually, truly means to possess alpha male traits. But to give you a more detailed perspective, here are some of the traits that an alpha personality will display.
They Ooze Confidence
Alpha males are very confident in the way they do things. Their confidence fuels their desire to pull through any situation in life, no matter how adverse or challenging.
Alpha males are not afraid to speak their minds, and they don’t shy away from tense debates when their ideals don’t match others. An alpha male is willing to rock the boat and go the distance to ensure they get the results they want in life.
An alpha male makes sure to set their boundaries straight and confront the people who have crossed them. A true alpha male does not believe in back-stabbing, as they prefer to be straightforward when relaying their personal feelings about a particular matter.
However, men who fit the classic alpha stereotype may tend to get a bit carried away, and their confidence, in turn, inflates their ego. It makes him less open to accepting constructive criticism. This can be true even if, for example, they’re just playing video games. They don’t take losses well.
They Have A Lot Of Charisma
The reason why a lot of people are attracted to alpha males is that they exude powerful charisma. They automatically look charming to other people no matter what they do. They possess a lot of swaggers that make everything they say or do seem really cool.
An example of someone who has a lot of charm and swagger is James Bond. Many beautiful women fawn over him because he acts upon his own rules and never compromises with people with higher authority. He has confidence in the way he carries himself.
Being charismatic helps you attract more people. People with this trait are naturally fun to be with, so they tend to be popular in a crowd. In some instances, they can also be considered the life of the party.
This is where alpha and beta males differ. In most cases, an alpha male can attract more beautiful women and engage in more relationships than the “nice guy” betas.
They Are Natural Leaders
Whenever there are projects that need competent and reliable leaders, they are the first to volunteer for the job. For that reason, we see many successful male CEOs who have managed their companies and businesses to become the best because of their eagerness to lead efficiently.
They are naturally great at leading because they like to impart meaningful inspiration and motivation to their followers. True alphas are not mindless dictators who only care about their gain, but they want everyone to succeed with them.
They make sure that everyone is engaged enough to want to accomplish the set goal.
They Are Outgoing
Alpha males can become friends and acquaintances with almost anyone. Because of their confidence and charisma, it’s not hard for them to attract people into their perspectives and reality. They also possess excellent communication skills that can help make them more likable to other people.
They can also have more social connections and create meaningful relationships because they can quickly join in conversations more efficiently than other personality types. They are also, at times, the center of gatherings and social events.
Their charming presence makes many people want to converse with and be around them. They have strong ideals, and they are not one to shy away from engaging in conversation. Generally, they are fun people to spend time with.
Now that we know what traits alpha males usually possess, let’s discuss the traits a beta male has.
The Beta Male
Beta males have a close relationship with alpha males. When they work hand-in-hand, they become very productive with work. In many ways, beta males assist alpha males making life and work more manageable for them. They provide an ample amount of support to make things smooth-sailing.
Although he may not be the leader, he still gains many benefits in being loyal and supportive to the alpha male. Beta males are typically known to be the “nice guy” instead of the bad boy image of alpha males.
Beta males are less aggressive in terms of handling messy situations. Since they carry the nice guy traits, they tend to be more sensitive, thus understanding others. They also might take criticisms better and be more open to improving their flaws.
Here are just some of the traits that beta males possess. Maybe you have similar characteristics that contribute to your personality.
They Tend to Be Reserved
This is the main trait of all beta males. Rather than being vocal with their ideas and opinions, they prefer to be reserved and keep it to themselves. In many cases, beta males do not share their views for fear of conflict, judgement, rejection, or abandonment.
Beta males tend to be more passive than aggressive. Despite knowing what they want, they stay silent and tend to accept the orders being given to them.
Although they are reliable and competent, they haven’t developed the backbone to become the leaders they know they can be. They would instead choose to follow orders than impose them themselves.
They Are Loyal Followers
Loyalty is one of the biggest strengths a beta male can have. It gives alpha males the advantage because they can rest assured that beta males will be loyal to them for the rest of their lives.
However, that loyalty, and many of their “nice” traits often comes with unspoken strings attached and is actually “nice guy syndrome” at play, which you can read more about from the FEARLESS team here.
Video Transcript:
That’s the fake alpha male. They’re pushing and they’re stepping right into tension and they’re pushing that tension over and over and over again. And then they’re saying, “I’m pushing tension. Why is it not working?” The reason it’s not working is that you’re not calibrating the tension with feeling, feeling in the body, vulnerability. See, a real confident alpha male feels his whole body from head to toe, and then he steps into the tension. He feels his heart and he feels his vulnerability in the heart.
And think about it. Which sounds more confident? A guy who can open his heart, walk right up and say, “Hey, what’s your name? I like you,” and feel every bit of emotion between you two and still stay right there and be like, “Yep. I still like you.” Or, “That hurt, man, but I’m still here.” Or, “Wow, this is scary. I can’t wait to do it,” because he’s vulnerable, but he’s vulnerable strong, not vulnerable needy. Or a guy who walls off his heart and says, “Hey, what’s up? How’re you doing, man? What’s your name? Where you from?” And there’s a big difference in those two energies.
So, in this video I want to talk about one of the key signs that you’re a real alpha male versus a fake alpha male. And I want you guys to understand that for a lot of guys, including myself, that are learning from FEARLESS, when we start out, when I started out, I was a true beta male, and we’ll get into and talk about what a beta male is later. But what we do is we compensate by pretending to be an alpha. We call it fake alpha, and you can do a pretty good job of pretending for a while, but ultimately it never leads to happiness. It never leads to truly feeling good about yourself. So I want to talk about what’s the difference between a fake alpha and a real alpha, so you know what you’re shooting for, because there is a huge difference.
And I don’t mind the term alpha male, confident man, solid guy, whatever, I don’t care. Whatever term you want to use, but alpha male guys love the idea of an alpha male and what is a real… And I’m talking about a third stage, which is a David Deida term alpha male, which is what we teach. And to understand that we got to look at kind of a little bit… I’m going to give you a brief overview of what a beta male is. And there’s many versions of a beta male, I would say. There’s different degrees, but the most common type of beta male I see in my practice is the nice guy. The guy that’s overly nice or nice to a fault. He has trouble saying no to people. He has trouble setting boundaries. When he does set boundaries, he pushes really hard and then pushes everybody out of his life because he feels guilty and ashamed.
Or, every once in a while, because he’s bad at expressing his anger and his frustration, he blows up on somebody. For example, maybe he holds it all inside forever, doesn’t say anything, he’s super nice. The girl takes total advantage of him, or he thinks she is. In reality he’s letting her walk all over him. He’s not saying no, he’s not setting a boundary, and then eventually he blows up at her and yells and screams at her and says, “Look at all the nice things I’ve done for you. You don’t appreciate me.” Now, that’s a really short example of what a beta male is, but that’s the basic idea. And then he feels guilty and ashamed and he apologizes, tries to make up for it.
He has this kind of almost like crazy energy of going back between nice to this blowup, which usually the blowups for beta males only happen maybe once, twice a year. Some guys, they don’t happen for years, and then they have huge blowups and they’re really bad. And then what happens is, when the beta male gets really burned out on all of this energy of feeling taken advantage of, he just starts cutting people out of his life as he gets older, usually, and then he starts becoming comfortable being alone. And that really sucks. That’s super lonely. And he says, “Oh, I’m confident. I feel good.” But in reality, he’s confident because he doesn’t have anybody in his life activating tension, causing his old behaviors to come up. He’s keeping everybody at a distance.
So he says, “I’m not a nice guy,” because there’s nobody around him to be a nice guy to. So, kind of let that in. We could talk about all the versions of that and we’ll probably get into that in future videos, but when you look at what’s the opposite of that. So one of your friends or a girlfriend says, “Go talk to her. You seem to like her,” and you’re like, “Okay, but I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to be.” And they’re like, “Just be confident.” What the fuck does that mean? Just be confident. “Well, just be confident. Act confident.” So, since we don’t really know what confidence is, and here at FEARLESS we specialize in teaching what confidence really is, since we don’t really know what confidence is, what we do is we stay pumped up, take a big breath, push our chest out.
In a sense, we rise up out of our body. We’re like, we’re down low and then we get really nervous, going to our head. “Hi, my name’s Brian. What’s yours?” And there’s this pushing energy that’s really hard, and it’s lacking any depth of feeling or emotion. And we push and we fake the confidence. “Yeah, nothing bothers me. I’m solid. I’m good.” And then we start learning, if we do it more and more, we get to the point where we can approach a lot of people because we rise out of our emotions, out of our body. We literally don’t feel the chest. We don’t feel… We’re up here. “Hey, how’re you doing? My name’s Brian. What’s your name? Where you from?” You’ve all run into that guy at the bar, right? “Hey, how’re you doing, man? What are you drinking?”
And there’s this push in their energy. That’s acting confident. That’s what I call a fake alpha male. And that can become a habit. I see guys out, they go out night after night and they’re like, “What’s up, man? How’re you doing? My name’s Brian. How’re you doing? How’re you doing?” And they can walk around and they get almost comfortable in being disconnected from their body. And they’ll score here and there if they keep doing it because sheer numbers will cause things to happen. A drunk girl, a girl that’s totally disconnected from her body, things like that. But it’s a lot of work. It’s super tiring. They’re typically exhausted at the end of the night from not feeling their body, because real, real confidence, you’re fully down flowing through your body, relating to the women around you.
And if you don’t understand what I mean by that, you’ve got to look at some of my other videos where I talk about what it is to feel your body. The truth is, is that our body is a musical instrument. We feel appreciation and joy through the chest, we feel our confidence through the stomach and our intuition. Our gut-brain is there. And this is science, man. And you get down to the hips and you’ve got your turn on, you have creative energy or your passion, you have your grounding through your legs. When you’re feeling your whole body, now you can relate to somebody. You can express powerfully. You can be big open energy. You can connect. There’s so much you can do. You can be more penetrating.
You can pull back and be more relaxed and flow, and that’s really, really powerful. So when you understand that the fake alphas are rising out of their body because what’s happening is in these parts of the body where we feel, they’re disassociated. They’ve got a lot of pain in there. They got sadness in the heart and they got self-esteem issues in the gut. They cut the gut off, which is their intuition, and they don’t feel their turn on because they’re scared of their own turn on, or they’re scared that they’re going to get rejected. And that’s their creative energy and they’re really bad at grounding. So they just kind of become a walking, talking head, or what we love to call a social robot.
So are you a social robot? And they act it, they fake it, and they’re pushing, pushing, pushing, and everything gets done through push. And it can be very tiring and very exhausting. I used to do that. I did that for a while, and I thought that was going to get rid of my approach anxiety. It actually made it worse in the long run. I’m sure some of you out there know exactly what the fuck I’m talking about. So now let’s talk about what it is to be an authentic, real alpha male. And before I do, I want to ask you. If you’re getting some value out of this video, if you please like, because it really helps the YouTube algorithm if you like the video, helps us to get more viewers, build the channel, get more videos for you to help you out. So I really, really appreciate that.
You can also share the video, anybody you think could use it, that would be awesome. I truly appreciate that. And subscribe, hit that bell notification if you haven’t, and at the end of this video, if you really liked it, put a comment in the video and let us know because we read all those comments and we’re always kind of on it. It really helps us to figure out what else you want to know more about. And we’re really working on the channel right now, getting a succinct back to dating for you guys, because we kind of ventured off and we’re getting succinct, we’re getting tight in this channel. If we’re going to do something other than dating, we might, at some point, we’ll do a separate channel for that. But let’s dive in this a little deeper.
What is a real alpha male? Well, a real alpha male is somebody that can step into the tension, because the guy who’s going up to his head, he’s stepping into the tension, he’s pushing into the tension. “Hey, what’s up?” So you’re saying, “I’m doing what you’re saying, Brian. I’m pushing into the tension.” But they’re doing it by leaving the feeling part of their body. They’re disassociating from all the feelings of their body. Because think about it. You think in your head and you feel through the body. When you feel sad, you feel it in the body. When you feel lonely, you feel it in the body. When you feel joy, you feel it in the body. When you feel love, you feel warmth in your heart, typically. When you feel turned on, you feel it down here. So they’re disassociating from that part of their body because they’re kind of ashamed of it or embarrassed or don’t want to get rejected or they’re hurt.
And they’re pushing, pushing, pushing. And so that’s the fake alpha male. They’re pushing and they’re stepping right into tension and they’re pushing that tension over and over and over again. And then they’re saying, “I’m pushing tension. Why is it not working?” The reason it’s not working is that you’re not calibrating the tension with feeling. Feeling in the body. Vulnerability. See, a real confident alpha male feels his whole body from head to toe. And then he steps into the tension. He feels his heart and he feels his vulnerability in the heart. And think about it. Which sounds more confident? A guy who can open his heart, walk right up and say, “Hey, what’s your name? I like you.” And feel every bit of emotion between you two and still stay right there and be like, “Yep, I still like you.” Or, “That hurt, man, but I’m still here.” Or, “Wow, this is scary. I can’t wait to do it.” Because he’s vulnerable, but he’s vulnerable strong, not vulnerable needy.
Or a guy who walls off his heart and says, “Hey, what’s up? How’re you doing, man? What’s your name? Where you from?” And there’s a big difference in those two energies. Now, drop down a little deeper and think about this for a minute. What about the stomach? Stomach is where we start to feel a lot of personal power, and there’s a sense of dropping in and there’s a sense of, “Hey, what’s up? How’re you doing?” And there’s a sense of intuition. “Oh, she wants me to get closer right now.” Because you can feel the sub-communication from there better. Yeah. Your gut brain is so powerful and it’s processing an insane amount of data per second. And when you really tune into that gut brain, it gives you these little intuitive hits and tells you, “Do this now. Step over now. Kiss her now.”
And when you listen to that thing, it’s almost never… Well, it really is never wrong. Your interpretations in the beginning can be a little wrong as you learn how to read it, but it gets more powerful. But a lot of guys, because they have self-esteem issues, they have self-worth issues, they don’t want to feel their gut, and hence they close off. I can’t tell you how many clients we start to work with where their gut starts to hurt and they start to feel this pain in their gut when we start to open them up and they have to process that self-esteem stuff. Same with the heart. The heart hurts. And then there’s down to the turn on. When you start to drop into the turn on and you start to just enjoy her and your eyes begin to connect and there’s this warmth and tingle between you two.
And as you enjoy her in a non-creepy way, because you’re not making it wrong, you’re enjoying your turn on. You’re offering it up to her and you’re not forcing it on her in any way, shape or form, she can start to get turned on and enjoy you, because she’s seeing her beauty through your eyes, through the depth of feeling in your body. And then there’s the grounding. Grounding it out, making it all feel like, on one level it’s dangerous and a little naughty and a little wild, and on another level it’s, “He’s safe. He’s going to take me on a wild ride, but he’s got my back.” And that’s the power of a true alpha. A true alpha isn’t trying to dominate everybody. He’s building people up. See, when you’re in pride, the pride level of emotion, it’s about win-lose. “I’m going to beat you.” Cocky.
But when you’re in courage level of emotion, this is a revealing process, teaching, you actually start to look for the win-win. How can I make her feel beautiful and sexy without giving up my power? Feeling the most powerful version of myself, which is going to make her appreciate it. Because this guy that feels solid inside through his whole body is actually telling her she’s beautiful or sexy or whatever. Or even teasing her and playing with her, which is all fine, too, because she can feel the sub-communication of what he really means underneath. And that is really powerful. Where are you at now? Are you at that beta male stage? We can do more videos on that. Are you in the fake alpha stage? Which is… You’re going to have to do a little of that to feel and learn to calibrate. Or are you in the alpha male stage?
Let’s call it an authentic alpha, an authentic, courageous alpha, this guy who really cares about the world. As you grow into that guy, trust me, your life is going to get so much better. So, so much better. Now, I do want to share something. High-end clients do these week-long events and sometimes up to two weeks where they’re in front of models five, six hours a day, and we’re doing all kinds of energetic work and really sensitization work, nervous system work, getting them more calm, comfortable, learning to be low in their bodies. Then we take them out all night to practice with real women, meet real women, and not just women. Everybody. Learning to be a social beast, okay? And we love doing that.
Now, one of the things we’ve distinctly noticed over the years and all the coaches notice it, is when a guy comes in and he’s in his head, you can see, he’s up here. You say, “Hey, what’s up? How’re you doing?” He’s not going to do well. But when he gets a little lower and starts to get down into his heart, his upper chest, he does a little better. When he fully gets into his heart and starts to talk from his heart, as he learns to relax down into his body, because you kind of relax down most of the time. As he starts to relax down, girls start to connect with him a little better. They start to enjoy his company and there’s just nice.
We know he’s not going to score yet, but throughout the week, as he gets even lower and starts to drop into his gut and his gut brain right through here, and starts to feel and starts to relax and starts to own a little sense of personal power, that’s when we know girls are going to start getting attracted. And that’s what we work towards really fast. And then finally, when he gets down into his hips, things really… If he’s all the way down, things really start to pick up and then get into it and he owns his grounding. We try to get the grounding first and then connect all the way through the body. And it’s so powerful when that happens. That is helping to create a third stage, true alpha, authentic alpha, whatever you want to call it. If you guys come up with a good title, let us know. Maybe we’ll coin the term and build it up.
But that’s what we’re helping to create here at FEARLESS. And if you want to learn more about that, check with our events and our workshops, and you can learn more about that or revealing course. We have a revealing course that really helps to work on the mindset to get the stories out of the body to help you feel more. Now, with that said, remember to comment on this video. We love to hear your comments, what you want to learn more of, where you’re currently at, what you want to see more videos on in this area. Did you enjoy this video? Things like that. Remember again to share, like, subscribe and hit that bell notification. Already said all that. And remember, only the confident really live. And in this case, only the confident true alpha male really lives. Take care. Have a beautiful day.
