I’ve been getting pretty frustrated by the walking surfaces here.
I walk with a limp, so between the cobblestones of Old City and sidewalks that are a little slippery, with slightly uneven, loose, and broken patches, I’ve been tripping all over the place, and I fell hard three or four times in a week. Falling back home – or anywhere else, really – is relatively rare. The last two falls were especially bad because first I fell directly on my left (much weaker, more sensitive) hip, which is always scary, and then I somehow hurt my right foot (the strong one I rely on so much) significantly enough that it’s made walking harder…and I’ve been walking a ton in this nearly monthlong stint in Bucharest vs my average week back home.
And then, there are all the emotions that come up outside of the physical pain. Embarrassment and my ego hurting, especially when it’s in front of people who freak out in Romanian over whether I’m ok when they see a guy with a limp and a cane take a big spill. Even though I logically know that truly owning my vulnerability and being ok with it is actually one of the truest forms of confidence, the real emotions that come up from tripping and falling over and over aren’t exactly ones that make me feel like the strong, powerful, masculine, magnetically attractive man I’m working towards being.
It makes me feel small, weak, and awkward, bottom line. (Some would say “Oh don’t feel that way!” but not getting in touch with what’s honestly going on deep down for you is going to prevent you from actually facing and working through how you truly feel about yourself.)
On top of that, I seem to be struggling more with the terrain here every time I come. In spite of my left side and entire body getting stronger and in spite of a lot of feedback I’ve been hearing from team members, models, and clients that I just keep getting more grounded and relaxed. In spite of being aware myself of feeling more grounded.
I think what’s going on is as I’m being more active and walking more than ever, my body is still finding little ways to conserve energy and pain – like not lifting my feet as high off the ground when I walk, which makes me more prone to tripping – but regardless, falling more these last two times I’ve been here is not a pleasant trend.
And one night after an event here, Brian even said to me half-jokingly in passing, in relation to the cobblestones, “You’re so grounded now, you can just float over them no problem, right?” I cringed inside, beating myself up a little bit (a little more on that in a second), and said nothing. Or I might’ve even lied and just said “Yeah.” I don’t remember.
Few would fault me if I got wrapped up in frustration and feeling helpless. Few, except for my FEARLESS Family. Because getting wrapped up in life being unfair and victim mentality doesn’t do much to move you forward in life. It disempowers you, and disempowering yourself isn’t something our alumni, much less our team members, allow each other to get away with.
So as I was doing my best to shake off the physical and emotional toll the falls were taking, I started thinking about a post I wrote a month ago: A Tough Question to Empower You Through Failures and Setbacks.
“Ok. How am I creating this?” I asked myself. Like I wrote in the post linked above, this is the question that gives you the most power, regardless of the situation.
And that brought me back to grounding. Yes, I am generally more grounded and less stuck in my head than ever, but in at least a couple instances of falling, I realized I had been thinking pretty hard about something and not so in touch with my body, the present moment, and the ground underneath me at the moment I’d lost my footing.
So – without beating myself up this time for not staying grounded every second of the day – as I had when Brian had tried to compliment me – I took it in as a valuable realization that could help me not only decrease my trips and falls, but also help me further expand and strengthen my grounding.
Yes, other people can get away with being more in their heads and less present and grounded walking around here than I can. But, feeling into that with the right attitude – coming from a place of courage – it’s something that can help me snap out of my head and be more present, more often.
And on the topic of courage, I realized, continuing to – literally – get up off the ground and move forward without complaining too much or getting wrapped up in it, despite the bumps, bruises, and pain, could actually feel good, feel courageous, and make me feel stronger. Like less of a boy and more of a man.
We were in the midst of running the Bucharest Double, after all. Two weeks of intense coaching that I liken to basic training for who you’re being as a man throughout your life. And a giant part of it is really facing yourself, your heavy emotions, thoughts, and beliefs…and handling them like a man.
No, not a fake “alpha,” macho, stuff-your-emotions down, man.
An emotionally mature man who faces it all and walks through it all.
I didn’t use to handle my adversity very well. At least not emotionally and socially.
And here was an opportunity to show myself I could handle it. To grow as a man just as I watched and helped our clients grow as men. To become more aware of where my grounding could get stronger. To walk through more of my limiting beliefs and heavy emotions beneath the surface and come out emotionally stronger.
To keep moving forward.
Does this mean I want to live in a place where walking’s extra challenging – and a little downright sketchy – for me?
Probably not.
Does that mean my grounding and being in the moment, literally where my feet are, became perfect immediately?
No. I fell again after I first started writing this post. And yes, I still felt somewhat embarrassed and small in that moment.
But I started to catch myself losing myself in thought more often than I’d caught it before. I started to get out of my head and into my body and the moment – and stay there – more often.
And my relationship to the trips and falls got a little better. A little lighter. A little less frustration and a little more resolve and strength. A little more “I can handle this.”
A little more of feeling strong and resilient.
And as Brian always reminds people, it’s those one-percenters, continually compounded, that really change your life.
So ask yourself – right now – where are you going through something frustrating or challenging?
How are you creating it?
And how can you grow from it all – both realizing how you’re creating it, and just the experience of going through it by itself?
If you found this post valuable, please share it with a friend or social network.
