How can you stay more grounded (cool, calm, and collected – present in the moment and relaxed in your body, not in your head overthinking) while talking to women and in other social interactions.
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in August 2020.
Question: “I’m a grounded man. But somehow during my interactions with people and women, I lose my grounding. How could I get better and maintain a grounded presence throughout the day? Are there any rituals to be more grounded? And even when I am by myself”
– Jonathan
Below, we’re including the grounding mini-training Brian mentions in the video – it’s a great place to start if you’re new to the concept of grounding, need a refresher, or want a “how-to.”
It’s one thing to feel grounded and relaxed during meditative, morning-ritual-type practice in a quiet, safe space. But add the tension of interacting with other humans, especially someone you’re sexually attracted to, to the equation, along with the tension of the environment in public (the fear or just added tension of “being seen” by others), and it becomes a different story. (That’s why it’s important to practice things like grounding both in a safe, quiet space with no distractions where you can go deep with feeling and emotion…but then regularly practice in a focused way in the real world, too.)
As Josh explains in the video, this is just how tension and grounding work: Our natural, innate state is to be grounded and present, but when the tension escalates to what’s far outside your comfort zone, your grounding tends to go. And for many men, the emotional tension and vulnerability that come with social interactions and especially interactions with women they find attractive is far more uncomfortable than physical tension that comes from, for example, lifting weights, extreme sports like skydiving, or even running into a burning building to save someone or on to a battlefield in war.
So practice grounding both at home or wherever you do your daily internal work but also practice in a focused way in the real-world situations that tend to unground you.
And if you want to accelerate your growth and get to where you want to be much faster, consider coming to an event.
Related:
The 8 Qualities Of A Confident and Masculine Man: Grounding
A Hollywood Example of being Grounded, Sexual, and Authentic with Women
Video Transcript:
Question: “I’m a grounded man. But somehow during my interactions with people and women, I lose my grounding. How could I get better and maintain a grounded presence throughout the day? Are there any rituals to be more grounded? And even when I am by myself,” Jonathan
Easy answer, Jonathan. Yes. There’s lots of rituals, lots of movement, lots of practices, lots of stuff you can do. This is a question I get a lot. I see a lot in the M and a lot of our workshops guys are really grounded. They get in front of a girl and they go crazy. And it’s just the pressure of what you’re not used to. Right? Pops you. I have a video where I teach a grounding daily grounding process that will be linked in this video. I highly recommend you watch that and do the practice. That’s the simple answer.
If you want other stuff to help you be grounded, go, go take something or learn something where people practice grounding. You know, whether that’s like chi gong, but make sure that she goes to teachers really good. Not some guy in his head, maybe that’s Brazilian jujitsu, judo, and judo guys, and to get good, have to be really grounded. Uh, cause they they’re always standing back up and they’re like these rocks, right? Um, pot, a really good systemic school. Some of them are quacking weird. Some of them are awesome. Uh, things like this, things that require you to really ground yourself and um, and that’s really it, man. So check out that video. One of our workshops we’ll teach you how to ground live. There you go. Um, and get out there.
I mean, it’s not, for some reason that in front of people you lose your grounding. Like that’s how it works. Once the tension raises up past what you’re comfortable, you’re grounding your grounding goes, okay. A lot of people’s energy starts to come up instead of go down and be solid and rooted. He’s probably good with Mo physical, but not emotional venture get in front of a woman right now. All that emotion comes out and he’s like, sh*t. Right?
Yeah. Well, that’s, that’s a good point too. You know, there’s, there are very physically grounded guys who can do, you know, martial arts or, you know, fighting other things, but then the emotional attention, you know, you have great examples of that, of uh, you know, guys who could, could, could do just about anything seemed pretty fearless in the physical realm, but then the emotional realm it’s terrifying, you know, so there’s, there’s both elements at play.
And based on your question, you know, you’re, you’re wanting to use it in the social realm, probably emotional realm too. So you gotta get used to the tension in that world as well. And, and it comes through practice. It’s also, you know, your grounding comes from your embodiment, so you gotta learn how to feel your body to know. I guys could do, you know, just do like some weightlifters. They they’re big guys, you know, big muscles, but some of them are literally just building more and more tension up in their body and lifting themselves up off the ground. You know, it’s kind of a hard thing to describe in words. Uh, it’s a lot easier to see and feel in person. Um, so I’m doing the best that I can, but you can literally see them kind of like lifting up off the ground and tight versus some other ones.
