Being emotionally open with a woman is a really powerful thing whether you’re in a relationship, single and looking for a girlfriend, just looking to be casual and have fun for now, or anything in between. The problem is when your “openness” comes off as needy or insecure. Very unattractive!
Yes, guys, even if you’re “just” looking to date casually, women who are open to, or even enthusiastic about that (and there are plenty out there – just be real and honest with them) still, by and large, want to have some level of emotional connection with you. It’s how they get turned on and it’s how they feel safe, among other things.
So the question, again, is how to be emotionally open with a woman, minus the appearance of being a wuss, a wimp, “soft,”…or the dreaded “too nice.”
The answer is grounding – being grounded and handling both your and other people’s emotions…while staying emotionally open, NOT shutting down or walling off emotionally. These two things are really important in getting better with women, getting better with people and pursuing your career goals (ultimately, everything comes through people), and just enjoying your life so much more.
When you’re grounded and emotionally open, people have someone solid in front of them who they can actually connect with, and who they trust more.
When you’re ungrounded, people have a harder time trusting you, because you’re reactive and all over the place. Not solid. A little (or maybe a lot) out of control.
And they also have a harder time trusting you when you’re closed off emotionally. Because there’s a wall between you and them, or they just can’t tell how you REALLY feel about anything.
Picture this. You’re at In-N-Out (or Shake Shack for you East Coasters) and there’s another customer whose order has routinely gotten screwed up at that location, so they’re especially frustrated today. Which of these behaviors is gonna get better service? Which are you going to respect more?:
-He yells and screams and flails his arms around at the horrible injustice he has again suffered, and refuses to listen to anyone
Or
-He firmly, even angrily, but calmly says what he needs to say while holding eye contact and staying connected to the person or people he’s talking to.
So consider that as you go through the videos below, and as you feel out how to be emotionally open with a woman – or anyone – in your real, every-day life. And if you’re brand new to the site and still confused about grounding, check out this post.
How to Stop Being Too Sensitive
This one is especially for you if you ever feel like you’re too sensitive to negative feedback from women, or people in general. There’s probably some “nice guy syndrome” going on, as well as a high attachment to validation or attachment to outcome that’s making you ungrounded and reactive internally (and maybe externally, too). I’ll teach you about that in this video and give you some exercises you can start practicing to build up your genuine toughness and masculinity.
Getting Past Rejection and Failure with Women – Part 1
We’ve all struggled with rejection and failing. And this fear of rejection often stops us from being open…or if we do open up, it’s ungrounded.
At our quarterly free “Family Gatherings,” alumni of our intensives get together for a day of teaching each other what they’ve learned and realizations they’ve had in their lives after FEARLESS programs. This video gives you an inside look into one of our Family Gatherings as alumni Jameson teaches other alumni – and now, you – the powerful and life-altering lessons he learned about dealing with rejection and “failure” with women.
Setting Boundaries With Women
Have you ever felt like a woman walks all over you or violates your boundaries, but you don’t know how to communicate those boundaries effectively? Maybe you’ve tried to set boundaries with women but it didn’t work or it even blew up in your face! In this video, we’ll talk about that and I’ll teach you the most important things to focus on for effectively setting boundaries so women respect you. And yes, you can be emotionally open with a woman while setting and maintaining boundaries.
Questions? Tweet me @BrianFearless
