Most growth in life happens under tension – outside your comfort zone. Life itself, really – truly living vs just surviving or existing – happens “in the tension.”
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in September 2020.
And things like pressure or stress are just forms of tension.
And your relationship to tension – your beliefs about tension and how well you handle different forms of tension – affects:
-how fast you grow and how far you go
-your success in business or your career and finances
-goal achievement
-your attractiveness as a man and the quality of your connections with women
-your relationships with women and everyone else in your life
-your overall quality of life and life satisfaction
-your health and longevity according to this TED Talk: How To Make Stress Your Friend
…just to name some of the big areas.
So in the video, Brian and Josh answer a viewer question about how lack of tension skills is reallyhampering the viewer’s life and ability to move forward, and Josh talks about how one statement by Brian at a conference that Josh was attending (before Josh began his FEARLESS journey) hit home with him and began to change his entire life.
Directions for the Tension Journal (AKA Confidence Journal) Mentioned in the Video
–Get a real, physical journal. It’s much more powerful to physically write in a journal vs typing on a phone, and in your phone, notes are likely to get lost and forgotten about, along with the entire exercise. Brian likes using pocket Moleskine journals, like this one.
(We get a small commission if you buy through that link.)
–Throughout your day, start writing down things that scare you. It can be big things, or tiny, seemingly innocuous things.
–Write down a number, from 1-10, for how much tension (fear, anxiety, etc) each causes.
-Take an action towards that scary thing. If talking to a beautiful woman you come across is a 10 for you, find something that’s more like a 6-7. ie: Sitting down next to her, smiling at her, or a simple “hello” with no further conversation. Only do what’s a little bit beyond your comfort zone, and build up from there. Don’t try to take gigantic leaps.
–Be consistent. This is the most important piece. Do at least 5 per day. More is great, but do what you can be consistent with.
–Write down what you learned from each experience.
–Review your journal before you go to bed every night.
-Continue expanding your comfort zone in all areas using this process!
Video on the Tension Journal here.
