In this video, Brian talks about the common beliefs that all you need is good looks to attract women and that without good looks, attracting women is hard.
Brian tells the story of one of his best-looking clients and how he was shooting himself in the foot with women and rendering his looks useless. For example, this client walked away from a girl, feeling rejected after she told him: “I think you’re a player and I’m not going to sleep with you.”
He hadn’t brought up sex or anything…it was on HER mind! She was already thinking about the potential of sleeping with him, and then said that to flirt with him, make herself feel safer/slow herself down, make sure he wasn’t only looking at her as a sexual object, test him, or a mix of those or other things. But she found him attractive enough to already have sex on her mind without him even going there! But because of how HE felt about himself and his beliefs about women and sex, he assumed a rejection where there was actually a HUGE sign of attraction.
Now, that kind of clulessness and insecurity can be an issue for men who are good looking or not, but it certainly makes the looks not go very far. And sometimes, insecurities and lack of connection and flirting skills can actually hurt the good-looking guys even more than the less physically attractive men, because the peception can be “He’s that good-looking and still insecure?” or “Oh, great, another tall, dark, and handsome guy with no personality 🙄”
Being good-looking can help get the door open, but only slightly, and that door shuts rapidly if there’s nothing behind the looks.
And if you’re not in the sterotypically handsome category, you might have to work on your presence, groundedness, tension skills, and flirting and connection skills a little more than the most handsome men, but really that shouldn’t be something you get down about. Because as Brian talks about in the video, it means you get more solid as a man overall.
And when you’re super confident, grounded, good at stepping into tension and flirting, and great at connecting, your “lack” of good looks can actually benefit you, because then the perception is “Look at how confident and sexy he is even though he’s short/fat/funny looking 😍” That can be a real turn-on for women.
Related:
The 8 Qualities Of A Confident and Masculine Man: Grounding
Could you be Sparking Attraction…and then Killing It?
