In a tiny nutshell, masculinity is represented by grounding and tension skills (among other things), and femininity is represented by expression, along with caretaking.
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in May 2017.
Don’t confuse masculine and feminine with male and female – both men and women have access to both their masculine and feminine – and don’t go thinking that one equates to strength while the other equates to weakness or less importance! This might be the biggest misunderstanding in societal battles over the very idea of masculinity and feminity. Both are vital to our world, our lives, and interpersonal communication/relationships.
In general, whether a woman lives most of her daily life in her feminine (as an artist, performer, or caretaker, for example) or her masculine (as a CEO, firefighter, or military officer, for example), she usually wants to be in her feminine when it comes to her relationships.
This video is an extreme example of feminine expression (which can come in the form of love, rage, and everything in between) and masculine grounding polarizing each other. Do not try this at home…or at the bar…or on the street!
Because I’m able to ground Yazz’ expression of emotion – meaning I stay present with her, relaxed, without losing my cool – that response of going even deeper into my masculine allows her to feel safe and go deeper into her feminine…as her eyes light up and she giggles.
If I’d been reactive and lost my cool, her response would’ve been quite different.
Can you see how this is a microcosm of many moments in interactions, flirting, and relationships with women?
If you can accept and ground her emotions – the whole spectrum of them – your whole relationship (whether you’re just meeting her or in a long term relationship) and its’ vibe changes in those moments.
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