Growing up with a disability, fitness, weight lifting, getting bigger and stronger…none of those things felt like they were in the cards for me. Hell, they weren’t even on my radar.
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in January 2019.
That changed A LOT as I dove into personal development, and you can read about that here: What Bodybuilding with A Disability Has – And Hasn’t – Done For Me
And when I’m at the gym, I’m usually focused on the mechanics of what I’m doing, feeling my muscles contracting and tearing so they can get stronger and bigger, working on the functionality of my left (weaker) side, and getting my heart rate up. As long as I’ve slept enough, it’s a great feeling.
But sometimes, I lift weights solely to focus on feelings. Not to focus on my muscles or physical fitness at all.
To focus on my mental and emotional fitness.
It’s meditative weightlifting. I combine the feeling work we teach at FEARLESS – in a nutshell, deep body awareness and presence and emotional awareness – using the weights as an aid to wake up my body and get empowering emotions and feelings going.
I like to do these sessions before dates, parties, or other social situations I have some anxiety about, or just want a little boost to get my head and emotions especially on point. Even just a few minutes – 3 or 4 sets of one exercise – can get the good juices flowing.
If you’ve ever gone through a hard weight lifting session, you know how good it can feel. I just put the majority of my focus during these sessions on feeling good. (Don’t throw form out the window though and hurt yourself or learn bad habits! Tensing up my neck and back is something I always have to watch, for example.)
I could research the exact chemical processes and which hormones and endorphins are involved to what degree and when, but that doesn’t really matter for this. What’s important and what I know for sure is that lifting weights makes me feel:
-Energized.
-Powerful.
-Tougher. More of a warrior.
-Masculine.
That last point is no judgment on women who lift or how it makes them feel. I have no experience there. All I know for sure is my own.
This can be done with any resistance (weight) training you enjoy and feels right for you. I tend to do bicep curls since I like them, my right bicep tends to recover very quickly, and there’s not the same concern of injury/overuse with it like there is with my shoulder.
It’s pretty simple, really. I just focus on all those good feelings in my body throughout each motion of the exercise…as well as between sets. Breathing it in. Feeling it run through my body.
Getting out of my head, slowing down my analytical mind, and just feeling my body. Especially my lower body.
Also grounding myself by feeling my feet against my socks, against my shoes, and against the carpet underneath me.
And, if it’s the thought of a woman or women triggering a little anxiety, feeling into my sexual energy and turn-on. Your whole pelvic area and below your belly button. (Aka your second chakra if that way of looking at things works for you.) Allowing myself to get turned on with all the energy running through my body.
And also feeling more open in my heart and throughout my body.
Allowing myself to welcome a sense of more confidence and let go of crap that makes me feel small.
How you feel is so much of your experience of life and others’ experience of you. It’s easy to say this or that “is everything,” but it makes a huge difference in how you connect with and relate to people. Especially with women, because women tend to be much more in tune with emotions and their subtleties than men, but it’s really with everyone. We’re highly emotional animals, even if you’re not yet aware of it.
Shifting my genuine emotional state lead to One of my proudest moments as a man (so far) and this is just another way of working on that.
Now, I will admit, just like getting grounded and present only to lose it all as soon as I actually walk up to a pretty girl and open my mouth, there are definitely times those feelings I created will dissipate or vanish entirely when I get into a situation that makes me nervous.
But just because you make 20 shots in a row before the game only to badly miss a bunch when the game tips off, there’s a defender in your face, and the crowd is screaming doesn’t mean you stop practicing. You just have to keep working through all of it and getting better, little by little.
One percent by one percent.
In empty gyms and during games.
And this meditative lifting thing is one practice that helps get me pointed in the right direction.
Related Content and Resources:
Top 14 Books for Your Growth, Confidence, and Success as a Man
One of my proudest moments as a man (so far)
Start Believing in Yourself with These Powerful but Simple Steps
What Bodybuilding with A Disability Has – And Hasn’t – Done For Me
5 Steps To Develop and Become a Grounded Man
