Fear of rejection is one of the main reasons why men don’t approach women.
Most men have a fear of rejection, which causes them to hesitate before talking to a woman they’re attracted to. It can feel like the end of the world. You put yourself out there and you get rejected and now you feel like a failure plus the embarrassment if you get rejected in front of people.
Most men see rejection as a bad thing, but what if you could see it as a good thing? What if you could use rejection to your advantage?
Understand that rejection is a natural part of life, and it’s something that everyone experiences at some point, so why not learn how to make rejection your friend, why not learn how to laugh at rejection, why not welcome rejection and move on it when it happens.
Here is a short story about how rejection can be your friend…
At the end of our “The Double” 13-day intensive, one of the last exercises I have clients do with our beautiful models is one where – without giving too much away, in case you take the workshop yourself someday – they each get rated by a model on how attractive the client is being.
Every model is a different, unique woman, and I encourage them to be as honest as possible with whichever client they’re in front of about how turned on they are by how he’s showing up with her. But it always goes back to the basic principles (with a lot of subtleties they’ve been exploring for two weeks) we teach on confidence, connection, vulnerability, feeling and emotions, and masculinity.
And every client has lots of opportunities within the exercise to figure out, adjust, and correct things about his emotional integrity and how well he’s connecting with and enjoying the model.
Does the client get angry, frustrated, sad, inwards and closed off – or even plain give up – when he doesn’t get a great reaction from the model? Or can he simply see it as feedback and stay open or get more open, connected, and enjoying the woman in front of him regardless of what he’s getting back from her in return?
That’s the thing. The men who are most attractive to women are magnetic because they don’t need women’s validation to feel good about themselves, to enjoy themselves, and even to enjoy a woman who’s not falling all over him and validating him right away.
Because, as I told our most recent Double group in Istanbul as they started this exercise, rejection is just guidance. It’s guiding you towards where you want to go and who you want to be.
Now, this doesn’t mean you’re going to date every girl you talk to, make a deal with every business, potential client, or business partner you meet, or get every job you apply for. Not at all. The more you embody your true, confident, honest self, the more you’re NOT a match for everyone you meet. Because you’re more discerning, know what you want and don’t want, have a strong sense of self, and have good boundaries.
Sometimes, rejection is guidance that that person, job, relationship, or situation is not for you, and it’s just as important to know what and who isn’t for you as what is for you.
But if you’re frequently getting rejected by women (or other people, jobs, etc) and rarely making good connections, then the rejections are probably guidance in the form of how you need to show up differently, more connected, with more emotional integrity.
So can you let go of some of the defensiveness, reactivity, pride, or self-attack that comes up with these rejections, take them as feedback and guidance, and maybe even appreciate them as opportunities for better awareness and growth? How about 1% or a fraction of 1%?
Can you get 1% or a fraction of 1% into CALP (Courage, Acceptance, Love, Peace) around rejections and responding proactively instead of reactively?
The more you do that, the more attractive, successful, and happier you’ll be – in that moment and in the long run.
When it comes to rejection, it’s important to remember that it is simply guidance. It’s not a personal attack or reflection on your worth as a person. Instead, think of it as an opportunity to grow and learn. If you can let go of your pride and reactivity, you’ll find that rejections become much easier to handle
Check Out This Video On How Rejection Can Be A Good Thing For You
Related
Start Believing in Yourself with These 7 Simple but Powerful Steps (Good intro to letting go and getting into CALP.)
