Setting and maintaining boundaries with women can be hard especially for Nice Guys. But you have to determine what you are ok with and what you aren’t okay with, communicate that, and be honest with the women who are around you.
First of all, make sure that, like I say in the video in answering the viewer’s question, make sure that you’re not worrying about setting boundaries with women just because they’re teasing you as part of flirting with you. Many men who are overly sensitive take flirty teasing as degrading, so make sure that’s not the case. (Watch the video for more context.)
If that’s not the case and you do need to set some boundaries, it’s very important to be grounded when you say what you need to say. If you’re all up in your head with your emotions and emotional connection shut down, it’s probably not going to go well. You want to ground, create a container, and use penetrating energy.
Be clear and firm in communicating boundaries, but try not to lose your temper. That’s where grounding comes in.
It may be as simple as saying something like, “This is my boundary. I don’t put up with this.” She’ll look (consciously or subconsciously) for how solid you are in your words.
And you have to experiment with what works for you.
But again, the most important thing is being grounded and relaxed down the front of your body so she can feel you and keep connecting with you emotionally. If she can’t feel you emotionally or you’re really reactive about it, she can’t trust you mean it or are solid in that boundary, she’s going to keep testing that boundary and bringing it up again. She’ll find a way to bring it back up or poke at you about it again. So grounding and getting out of reactivity around it is just huge.
