There are certain qualities that a man can exhibit that are universally attractive to women. Even if a man is not a woman’s particular “type,” if he has cultivated these qualities she will experience “turn-on” when in his presence. This mini-series is a primer to the 8 Qualities that I teach in depth during our live events.
If you’ve missed any of the first six qualities, read those first here:
#1 – Grounding #2 – Tension #3 – Being Decisive
#4 – Listening & Feeling #5 Creating a “Container” #6 Leading
Penetrating – What Is It / What Do I Mean
Penetrating. It’s one of my favorite… qualities. It’s another rare one. A lot of men shy away from being penetrating with women.
Before you penetrate physically, you need to penetrate energetically.
Penetrating energetically is what happens when you are fully owning who you are as a man and connecting deeply into her as a woman. Sounds about right, no? There’s a focused and sort of calm intensity and tension to penetrating communication, vs when you’re sitting back and relaxing. It’s a different energy than when you are in a receiving state, taking her in, talking, and listening & feeling, like we talked about earlier in the series. Receiving is crucial for connection, but you also want to be able to penetrate.
Penetrating is leaning in emotionally, looking into her a little deeper, and making a point.
When your energy is being more penetrating, you’re showing up without any games or illusions about your intentions. You are attracted to her and you’re not afraid to let her know it.
It’s also delivering your words and energy in a way that cuts through distractions – be it the environment, her anxiety, your anxiety, or anything else.
It’s almost like you are having sex, but energetically. That’s why it’s called penetrating. You want to express what’s going inside you and what you want to experience with her. This is the type of message you want to send across with penetrating energy. It can be very intense as far as interactions go. That’s one of the reasons why this type of communication is more uncommon. For most men, it’s too far outside their comfort zone.
You don’t want to be penetrating the entire time. That’s too much intensity. You do want to take time to relax with her and receive. But too many guys are avoiding the penetrating energy entirely. (Hello, Friend Zone!)
Why It’s Important
Being penetrating is a must if you really want to take your sexual communication to the next level. This is what separates you from the 99 other guys who have tried to hit on her this week.
The man who “penetrates” through all that other BS will be remembered. He’ll stand out as the guy who’s not only attractive, but present, free, and powerful. Some women are literally waiting their whole lives for this man to show up for them.
I’m not going to beat around the bush here: If you can master being penetrating, women will start to get clearly turned on in your presence.
How To Do It / Develop It
A. Say Something To Escalate
Being penetrating is all about connection, timing, and confidence. When you are connecting with a woman and you start to feel the desire to go a little deeper with her, then it’s time to turn on the penetrating energy and communication. It’s similar to when you kiss a woman for the first time. There’s no exact right time to do it. You just have to seize the moment, look deeply into her eyes, and clearly, slowly say something like, “I really like you.” Something that will escalate the sexual tension in the interaction.
B. Study Leo In The Aviator
There’s a scene in the movie, The Aviator, with Leonardo DiCaprio that’s an incredible example of being penetrating. If you watch the scene, study what’s going on in the dynamic. Notice the way Leo never breaks his eye contact with the cigarette girl and continues to escalate the interaction.
Now remember, this is a movie and not a step by step “how to.” You want to capture some of Leo’s energy and use it to inspire your own.
Here’s a link…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QIdPP5uuB8
You can be penetrating with men, too. When I need to cut through a student’s distractions or BS and deliver some tough love, or even just really get something important through to him that he’s not getting, it takes penetrating energy.
When someone’s on the fence in a sales situation, a good closer is penetrating to get the person off the fence, whether it’s a yes or a no. If someone is about to step off the curb into traffic or your child is about to burn their hand on the stove, you must be penetrating. If a boundary you have is being disrespected, you must be penetrating to set things right.
If your Uber or Lyft driver is stubbornly ignoring your route requests and you want them to listen to you, you must be penetrating!
Being penetrating is being firm and clear.
If you’ve made it this far and are finding value in this mini-series, I highly encourage you to check out The Fearless Man Live. It’s a very affordable, incredibly powerful two-day seminar where we’ll dive deep into these qualities and so, so much more. We also bring in our FEARLESS models for q&a and their perspectives throughout the whole weekend, and you have two days and nights of camaraderie and practice with like-minded men that can become your long-term accountability partners and friends. It gets you off the internet, into action, and can take a lot of time – years, even – off your learning curve. You owe it to yourself to check it out now.
Claim Your Spot at The Fearless Man Live!
The last quality is turn-on. Read about that here.
