In this video, Brian Begin breaks down FEARLESS’ unique take on confidence.
In episode 1, Brian talks about:
-Why he does NOT advocate “fake it till you make it”
-The pain/pleasure principle
-The importance of learning to manage tension in life and how that relates to our ancestors and what innately attracts women
Get Access to the complete Art of Confidence 5 Part Video Series
When it comes to building confidence, the problem with “fake it till you make it” is that most often, people trying to fake it actually tense up and wall off emotionally to try to hide their fears and insecurities from people…and not feel those uncomfortable emotions themselves. That doesn’t build true confidence and it doesn’t allow you to trul connect with others in a meaningful way. And not having success connecting with others can then build a lot of resentment and pain, which can discourage you from even continuing to work on your confidence and connection skills.
The pain/pleasure priniple is about how your mind and subconscious tends to push away anything it associates with pain and gravitate towards whatever it associates with pleasure. So if you are working on your confidence but the practices you’re doing cause a lot of pain, it’s going to be challenging to stay consistent with them, or even benefit as much as you could when you are doing them. This is where making things fun and changing your relationship to pain is important. Body builders, for example, go through a lot of pain on a daily basis, but because they associate the pain with growth, they actually enjoy it. This makes consistency much, much easier, and gets them more out of their workouts as well.
The ability to handle tension is one of the biggest markers of masculine confidence there is and one of the most attractive things to women. Your typical “nice guy” who isn’t good with women is doing everything he can to avoid tension and release tension – from dealing with confrontations and uncomfortable situations throughout daily life, to flirting and being direct with women. And when the “nice guy” does face tension, he’s often reactive to it, not managing the tension well. In the video, Brian breaks down why this is so unnattractive and important to women, as well as the types of men who are more attractive to women.
Get Access to the complete Art of Confidence 5 Part Video Series
Related:
Having Confident Male Body Language Isn’t About “Power Poses”
Why Nice Guys Finish Last – Nice Guys Aren’t Nice | Inside FEARLESS #13
8 Qualities Of A Confident and Masculine Man: Tension Skills
