All men have one common goal: to be great with women. And in order to do this, many of us often try to control the situation and the woman we’re attracted to. We want her to like us, so we do things such as buy her dinner, give her compliments, and make sure she’s always entertained. But what if I told you that all of this is wrong? That in order to be great with women, you actually need to let them all go?
In this blog post, I’m going to talk about why trying too hard actually ruins your chances with women, and how letting go can help you attract more of the ones you’re interested in.
Video Transcription:
This is Brian coming from beautiful Bozeman, Montana. And I’ve got a good video for you today. I’m going to be talking to you about freedom and why, if you really want to be good with women, you really want to be good at anything in life, but especially dating beautiful women.
Then you’ve got to want freedom more than you want the women themselves. The freedom’s got to be the number one choice, and we’re going to talk about why that is and how that’s radically shifted my life.
And if you state till the end, I’m going to share some personal stories about how this has shifted my life and how it’s still today is continuing to shift my life and only make it better. And so stay to the end to hear that personal story. But the first thing I want to do is explain why this is, and then I’m going to go into that. Okay.
So let’s dive right on in. The reason this is so important, understand, and this is something that I got wrong for many years. I constantly thought that if I wanted women really bad and push really hard, that I was only going to get better and that the pain was going to make me grow and the suffering was going to make me go and I’m going to push and I’d go out every night and I’d say, I got to get a girl.
And I’d beat myself up when I didn’t get a girl. And I’d think to myself, the beating my myself up is only helping me to grow. It’s making me stronger.
I didn’t understand that was the complete opposite. And as I got more into consciousness and non-duality and teachings that I love, the teachers you guys know from revealing and stuff like that, I started to really understand the flaw in my thinking.
And there was a huge flaw in my thought process. So I want to cover that flaw right now. You see the Buddha said the source of all suffering is attachment. And this is a really important statement because I was really attached to getting women. I was obsessed with getting women. Sex, intimacy, validation. I wanted it all. I just constantly needed it. And the more I got it, the worse it got. As I got more sex, as I got more intimacy, as I got more validation, I felt great when I got it.
It was like a drug hit, like cocaine or something like that. Like some drug you really love. I didn’t really love cocaine, but that’s an example. And I would want more of it and I’d go out to get more. And eventually you start to burn out from it, because what happens is you get enough of these hits and then you realize right afterwards, you just feel worse again.
You start to feel like crap, because you realize it’s not helping, it’s not solving the problem. And so I started to make a change in this area, a huge change. I started to work on letting go of my attachment to women a little bit at a time. And from the beginning, I started really slow with this. What would it be like if I didn’t chase women anymore?
And I started a release on that, this need to get women’s attention validation, to get them to have sex with me. I started to ask the question, what if I never had sex with another woman? What if another woman never hit on me? What if all women thought I was ugly and I would release and then start to, until I could start to feel comfortable with the idea. And as I began to do that, an odd thing started to happen.
As I got comfortable with those ideas, I got happier, but here’s the magic. As I got happier, more women started to show up in my life. As I cared less about what they thought of me, and so I started to laugh at the fact that, oh, I don’t have six pack abs. I used to always think, this was one of my things, I thought women really like six pack abs and muscular guys.
And I thought if I got that perfect body that women would love me. But as I started to get comfortable, not giving a fuck about that, women didn’t care. They started to like me exactly the way I was. And I realized they always did. I just couldn’t see it. So things really start to shift the less you need the women. That’s ultimately what it comes down to.
And you can do the work to completely let go of the women. If you go totally for what we call freedom, not even happiness, go beyond happiness, go to this sense of freedom from outcome, total freedom from the need for women to validate you, to like you, to appreciate you, to want you. It doesn’t mean that they won’t come around anymore, what it means or that you won’t even enjoy that, it means that you’re unattached to them like you.
You don’t need it to be happy, but when they do like you, you’ll enjoy it anyways, you’ll enjoy it just like, Hey, I don’t need this, but it’s still an enjoyment to have in my life. But here’s the funny part. You’ll get more of it than you ever got before. More women will show up more, confident women, more free women, women that want a man that doesn’t need them.
That just enjoys them. It’s a compliment to their life. And that’s the power of what I’m talking about. It’s very powerful. Now I want to share a little personal story here. I told you I would, but before I do, I want to invite you guys to like, if you’re getting some value out of this, like subscribe and share, help us to grow the channel. We were on a race to get to that a hundred thousand subscribers.
When we get there, it’s going to be awesome. We’re going to be able to bring you more awesome content. We’re going to be able to bring you better teachings. We’re going to get you more videos. Everything’s going to keep growing.
So just keep, just help us out by hitting that like button, smashing that like button subscribing, sharing, and comment in the video. We love those comments, guys. Those comments are very important. They help the algorithm to put us out there.
I guess the AI now, that put us out there in front of more people, so that alone helps a lot. Now let’s dive in a little deeper. My personal story. This was probably my worst area in my life. I had a lot of attachments to women, probably more than any other area in my life.
That’s why I got into this business because I was so attached to needing women in my life. Not just sex, but validation, comfort. I didn’t have a sense of myself without a woman around me. And I hated it. And I’ve gone through many phases of releasing that attachment. When I finally got committed and I said, you know what, I want freedom more than anything.
I began a process of revealing every day. Deep meditative eyes closed sitting down revealing. And I would reveal for multiple hours a day, letting go of every single thought I had, every image, every feeling, every emotion around women, around, oh, she won’t like me. I’m not good enough. Or I’m going to have to work really hard or I’m going to have to go out and hustle.
I need a woman in my life or I’ll never be happy. I need to move here to meet better women. I need to move there to meet better women. All these different thoughts came up and I realized there were thousands, of not just thoughts, but emotions that attached those thoughts. And that’s a big part of the releasing process, getting those oceans underneath.
And I kept digging. And the way the process typically works for me, is the first day it’s really heavy, and I there’s that apathetic heavy energy. And I hit that apathetic heavy energy. And I just kept going. It’s like a little tiny chip in the marble. If you’re carving the statue of David, little chip, it doesn’t look like anything, a little chip. But within a few day I’d start to feel emotions.
I’ll typically wake up in the morning, really heavy. And because the grief starts coming out as I’m chipping away. And I would wake up every morning really heavy. And then a few days in, I woke up really heavy, a lot of anxiety, a lot of pain, a lot of hurt, a lot of craving of women. The craving went through the roof because I was coming out of the empathy into feeling and it hurt. It was not a pretty sight man.
And that’s when I really realized how addicted to women’s validation I was. And as I started to break that up, a little bit more and a little bit more, more and more joy started to show up in my heart first anger, and then ultimately courage and joy. And I just kept going. I kept revealing towards cap around not needing women. I would literally, in my mind’s eye, I would just welcome the idea of women.
And I would see a beautiful woman. I’d feel that craving. And I just kept releasing it as if maybe I’ll never get that type of woman again, or maybe I’ll never get a woman again, or I’ll never be happy with women again.
Or if I do get a woman, I’ll always want another one and I’ll never be happy. Or could I just be a monk and just let all the women go. If I see beautiful, sexy women around me, can I just look at them and let it go and have no attachment to them at all? Doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy them.
And as I got more and more comfortable with that idea, this amazing thing started to happen. As that pain in my heart, because there was a lot of pain in my heart, sickness in my stomach, heaviness in my body, that all started to disappear.
I got more comfortable than ever before around women. I just started to laugh a lot, smile a lot, more and more women started to just look at me all the time. And it was a beautiful, amazing process for me, painful, but beautiful. And that didn’t happen in one day. I was literally meditative revealing for multiple hours a day on this topic and just until it just kind of slowly over weeks started to happen.
It took a little bit of time, and that’s what I want to encourage you to understand. It was painful, it hurt, but in the end, on the other side of that polarity of that pain, was just as much love and beauty and freedom. And now the type of women that show up into my life are so much more beautiful, so much more confident, so much more in the same place that I’m at.
They’re not looking for a man to complete them. They’re just looking for an awesome dude to connect with them. And that’s the type of women I want in my life personally. And if there’s no woman around, I still have an amazing time. If a woman rejects me, I still have a good time. That’s where you want to go. Okay?
So hopefully you’re getting some value out of this. It’s a simple concept, but it’s a powerful concept. Choose freedom from all attachment to women. Doesn’t mean you’ll lose your attraction to women. Doesn’t mean you’ll lose women altogether. It just means you won’t need them to make you happy.
And when you’re revealing, if you constantly choose freedom and you achieve that point of freedom where you don’t ever need another woman in your life again, to be happy, trust me, women will still show up, but you’ll be pickier about which ones you want to let in because you won’t need them.
You won’t need them in your life to complete you. And that’s the point I keep wanting to make in this video over and over again. So hopefully you enjoyed it. Again, I want to invite you to like subscribe, share, put a comment in, let me know what you think of this. Go out and do it.
Do the work, do the revealing process, if you’ve got it. And to help you out to help you understand this a little bit better, I want you to watch a video.I just did. It should have come out about a week or two ago on self-esteem. I don’t have a title for it yet, but it’ll come out by the time this one comes out, it’ll been out and we’ll link it in here. Just click on that video and watch it. At the end of that video is a gift for you.
If you haven’t watched it already, there is a revealing process on building your self-esteem. So that you see yourself as important or more important than the women you’re meeting. So you don’t feel like you’re small next to these women. And I want you to watch that. And literally, while you’re doing this process, listen to that recorded revealing every day.
I had a client that changed his life listening to my full body scan meditation for about nine months to a year straight, multiple times a day. So you can go 30 days listening to this, this one on self-esteem that I did. And it’s at the end, it’s at the middle to the end. It’s the second half of that last video in self-esteem. It’s linked in here somewhere. Check it out. And I think that’s it.
Hopefully you’re enjoying Bozeman, Montana with me. It’s beautiful out here, isn’t it. And with that said, I’ll see you in the next video. And what would you do if you were fearless? Well, you guys like that one or you want me to use the other one? Let me know. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.
