I’m not gonna tell you I have it all figured out.
Turning various, sometimes heartbreaking wakeup calls into something that has a longterm impact is still something I struggle with and lose sight of at times.
With legendary Los Angeles Laker, Kobe Bryant – one of the greats in NBA history and a global star that transcended the sport of basketball in so many ways – being stolen from his family and the world at just 41 years old (along with his 13-year old daughter, Gigi, a rising women’s basketball star…along with another child and nine humans in total) yesterday in a helicopter crash, it’s yet another tragic reminder of how precious life and our time on this planet is.
As our executive director, Dave, said in our company group chat, “You never know when the reaper is coming so you better be living your life to the fullest.”
I found myself in disbelief and kind of paralyzed by the news. Later on, a few tears welled up in me over someone I didn’t even know for the first time since I was much younger.
But how do you take wake-up calls like this and live it beyond a few days or weeks, as the sting of whatever shook you up fades and as the distractions of everyday life come back in? Or as the 24-hour news cycle moves on. How do you make honoring what someone, something, or an experience meant to you into a lasting, conscious impact on your daily life?
One thing I’ve been doing for a while is an hourly alarm on my phone that says “Which side of the Slight Edge?” Now, this is more focused on how my current hour-to-hour decisions and focus are heading towards success or failure down the line: It’s an idea taken from Jeff Olson’s The Slight Edge: Turning Simple Disciplines into Massive Success and Happiness that is about the fact that we are constantly, every hour and even every minute of every day, collecting compounding interest on the Slight Edge curve towards success or failure through our small, mundane, decisions in every area.
Maybe it’s not completely perfect for the idea of living life to it’s fullest. But if you sit with it for a moment, it can serve as a check-in on how you’re living and the decisions you’re making, from career goals and productivity, to socially, valuing/maintaining/strengthening your relationships, and growing your confidence, leaning further into the version of you who you need to be to create the relationships and success you want, and looking at your quality of life and experiences overall.
If you follow our teachings, it specifically can serve as a great reminder to check in with to what degree you’re in touch with things like how in your body and present in the moment vs in your head you are, your attachments, how much you’re stepping into or avoiding tension, growth, and stretching your comfort zone, to name just a few.
I just set an alarm for every hour of every day (I go from 11 AM to 11 PM, personally) and change the label tab (on iOS…I’m sure there’s something similar on Android) from “Alarm” to “Which side of the Slight Edge?” You can also make it a vibration-only alarm by selecting “none” on the sound option.
Maybe that resonates for you, or maybe some other way of wording it is more impactful for you. Hell, if you happen to be a big fan of Bryant or the Lakers (or even sports in general), maybe your reminder could simply say “Kobe.”
Along with reevaluating your priorities, goals, how you’re spending (…and enjoying!) your time on this planet and where that’s getting you, other valuable things you can do include putting reminders, mantras, and focuses in your daily morning and evening rituals. For me, I’ve discovered that no matter how great my morning ritual, I personally have had a tendency to lose sight of things as my day gets rolling, so the hourly reminders are important to me.
Reading your goals and things you want to focus on multiple times throughout the day is also powerful and important.
Your true priorities are reflected in how you actually use your time, energy, focus, and money, so check in on those things regularly.
And successful, fulfilled people generally aren’t afraid to invest in themselves. Dave pointed out to our FEARLESS Family facebook group of alumni of our intensives that Kobe invested loads of money, time, and energy on his body, health, and performance. That’s what was most important to him, and his commitment to himself, his craft, and his goals paid giant dividends.
So how are you valuing your time and money? Are you quick to spend money on things like nice cars or fun possessions, entertainment subscriptions, social outings or alcohol, concert or sports tickets, or even travel…all while you say you want a better career, confidence, or relationships…but think things like “I don’t have the money” to invest in your personal development, honing your skills, or education?
What do you want out of life, what do you claim your priorities to be, and do your financial and time investments reflect those things?
Time is the one resource in life that you can never make more of, and as we were so painfully reminded yet again this week, all of it can be ripped away in an instant.
As I said at the beginning of this post, I’m far from perfect with this stuff. I still get lost in the day-to-day sometimes, no matter how many of these stiff, heartstring-tugging wakeup calls come my way.
But these hourly reminders and other check-ins with myself, my priorities, and my goals are slowly helping me stay more present, more often with the value of life and time.
I hope you implement some of these things and that they help you honor what Kobe or other wake-up calls meant to you for the long term.
Resources:
(We may receive a small commission if you buy through these links.)
– The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson
Paperback, Hardcover, and Kindle or Audio CD
–The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson
Available in all of the formats here
–Check out our events.
