No matter how much you work on getting better with women, you’re not going to meet, attract, and date great women until you stop seeking validation & genuinely enjoy life for yourself.
This post originally appeared as part of the “Inside FEARLESS” series in February 2016.
In the video, Brian talks to students in our infamous dating weeklong intensive about getting out of the space of having something to prove with women, seeking their validation, and giving off “taking” energy instead of “giving” energy.
Successful dating is about giving (but true giving – not from a co-dependant “Nice Guy” place). If a woman likes you, it’s usually because you’re coming from at least some of The 8 Qualities Of A Confident and Masculine Man – things like being open-hearted and in touch with your and her emotions, being grounded, playing with tension, and being comfortable in your masculine. Offering up those things freely because you enjoy it, regardless of whether she appreciates it and is attracted to you or not.
But when you come from a place that’s predominantly focused on getting her to like you – or avoiding “messing it up,” for example, women can feel that.
They may not know it consciously – something may just feel off, or she may just feel “not into you,” but women feel it at one level or another. And, as Brian points out in the video, you probably do, too. Think about it: Have you ever met or interacted with someone and just gotten a vibe that you didn’t trust? It’s likely because that person had taking or dishonest energy.
So, as Brian points out to the student he’s talking to in the video, take a look at whether your goals with women and dating might be misguided. It shouldn’t be about getting her to like you – that’s taking energy – but about you becoming more and more free with women and socially in general, having fun for you, and inviting women into that energy, that experience, and your reality…but genuinely enjoying yourself whether she validates you or not.
