Have you ever felt like you were getting worse with women after improving your connection skills with them or plain old having a lot of success with them? A student asked me about this and it’s a fairly common thing for men working on their confidence and connection with women, so let’s talk about that.
The student’s question:
“I was having so much success with women and all of sudden it stopped. I started getting rejected more again. What’s going on here?”
A lot of men go through this kind of thing. If you are walking this path and you begin to become successful with women and then it seems to suddenly stop, you need to ask yourself at least a couple of questions:
Is there anything going on or changing with you emotionally that you might not have even noticed that’s pushing women away?
It could be a variety of things: stress or an emotionally heavy situation you happen to be going through at the time, getting too cocky about your newfound confidence and attractiveness and/or losing your vulnerability when interacting with women, overusing some pickup line, conversational piece, or anything else that was working with some women to the point where it’s become a technique and it’s lost its feeling and emotional authenticity…those are just a few things that come to mind.
If nothing there seems to resonate or give you any clues, then the next question to ask yourself is if your standards have changed.
This is a very common thing that a lot of men don’t even realize is happening.
You have begun to get interested in a higher quality of women.
Why is this? Because you’ve become a higher quality man!
This doesn’t just mean looks, though it often does include physical attractiveness. Essentially, you’ve reached the next level and you’ve raised the bar on yourself. Now you have so much more to be pickier about, and it’s time to face your next round of stories (limiting beliefs) and attachments.
It may feel like starting over but it isn’t. You’re just going deeper internally. A lot of guys make this shift but it happens unconsciously, so they get a little freaked out and experience a bunch of rejection again.
These women may be hotter or more successful in their careers (and maybe part of you doesn’t believe you’re good enough for them), more confident or edgy, maybe you see relationship potential now and get more attached to outcome for that reason, etc.
You haven’t gotten worse or less attractive – you’re just facing the next layers of your insecurities and stories. That’s progress.
Focus on releasing those attachments and everything that’s coming up for you emotionally and you will begin to see the rejection dissipate again.
Related:
How To Be More Attractive to Women by Developing Your Indifference to Outcome
Getting Past Rejection and Failure with Women – Part 1
Questions? Find me @BrianFearless on twitter!
