In this video, Brian talks about the old dating advice of “Just be yourself,” why it’s both the worst dating advice and the best dating advice, and what you can do so that “just be yourself” actually works for you.
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“Just be yourself” is the best dating advice at its core, because if you truly know who you are – you have a powerful sense of self-esteem, clear boundaries, confidence, and you really know what you want and don’t want and what you like and don’t like, and you’re good at speaking what’s REALLY ON your mind, even when it feels vulnerable or scare – then yes, it truly is about just being yourself.
The reason “just be yourself” is often the worst dating advice is that most people don’t truly know what it even really is to really be themselves. They don’t even know who they really are. And that’s especially true for men who consistently struggle to attract women.
As Brian once put it, as soon as you open the door and go out in public, are you truly being exactly who you want to be in every moment? How often and to what degree are you putting on masks and behaving in ways you think other people will like/approve of/not reject you for? None of us are perfect – we all have insecurities and moments we’re not 100% being genuine – it’s a range. But where do you fall on that range?
Too many men don’t know who they are and are trying to get it from the women, as Brian discusses in the video.
You need to be able to have fun by yourself, relax around women, and truly enjoy them and yourself regardless of how they’re being or whether they’re validating you. (Approving of you, attracted to you, etc.)
You need to get to the point of REALLY liking yourself.
