Why You Should Stop Trying to Heal Your Traumas – Part 2

In my previous post, I went over how releasing traumas requires us to focus on growing in our understanding of how we create reality, rather than directly attacking the traumas themselves.

Dr. Nizar Taki is an independent contributor for The FEARLESS Man blog. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in his work belong solely to Dr. Taki and do not necessarily represent those of The FEARLESS Man. 

What does it look like to grow in our understanding of how we create reality?

Let’s start at the beginning.

When we were born, we found ourselves in a world of infinitely complex, ever-changing shapes and colors. Our unconscious was running the show at this point, protecting us and drawing to us all the food, love, and attention we needed. Everything was beautiful to us, and we had a feeling of infinite potential. We didn’t compare ourselves to others because we didn’t have a self-identity to compare TO others. We didn’t have to heal because we didn’t have a past to heal FROM.⁠

Using Language to Interpret the World 
But in order to interact with this complex world, we needed a tool – language. We started naming things and making stories about them. Language made us very powerful in our ability to control and shape our realities. If we encountered something complex and unknown, we now could deal with it by making a story about it, and then interacting with the story instead of the actual unknown entity underneath.

The Problem with Stories We Create Around Language
This was great for a long time. But there is a problem – we never knew they were all stories.

You see, if I tell you a realistic-sounding story about something scary that happened in a specific part of your town, but didn’t tell you it was a story, then you might think it was fact. And if you assumed it was a fact, then that story would actually change your behavior. You’d avoid that part of town. But if later I told you it was a made-up story, you would punch me in the shoulder and then realize that you didn’t need to change your behavior anymore.

Basically, our unconscious was telling us stories, but because we were so young we didn’t realize they were stories, we assumed they were facts, and acted accordingly.

Our unconscious has never stopped telling stories. It’s doing it every single moment we are conscious. Actively crafting a story of who you are, what you are doing, and where you are going. Right now.

Taking Conscious Control of Your Story
But if we’re still creating our story on a moment-to-moment basis, every time we focus on healing a trauma, we are rewriting that trauma into the story of ourselves at the same time as we try to free ourselves from it! Is this not a paradox?

We escape the paradox by integrating what we had rejected up until now, our unconscious. Our unconscious has been creating stories since we were born. Our consciousness has been interacting with these stories, and, not realizing its connection to the unconscious creating the stories, mistook itself for a mere character in the story.

Uniting with our unconscious means realizing that it IS you. You are the storyteller. And stories can be changed. And if not changed, then outright disregarded when deciding how we behave in the world.

This is what “stepping into one’s power” or “going up a level of consciousness” looks like. It’s stepping out of the story and reminding ourselves that we have always been and always will be the ones holding the pen, and then consciously deciding what story we want to write moving forward.

When someone truly sees that their mind creates their reality using very advanced stories, they will realize that the traumas from the past, while real, do not need to be carried into the present moment and can be released. This creates the appearance of healing a wound. But what actually is happening is far more beautiful: the person doing the “healing” is stepping out of their stories and into their role as the creator of the story.

When we become the version of ourselves who is telling the story instead of thinking they’re a character in it, we see that the stories and the traumas contained within don’t have the ability to influence us.

Leaving Traumas Aside to Connect with Ourselves
Psychedelic therapy is being studied now and the results are showing that it is highly effective for mental wellness. But many people fear psychedelics, often because they worry that using the substance to “go deeper” into a trauma they aren’t ready to process will backfire, leaving them more traumatized than before. I can understand why this is the case. It is certainly not desirable or helpful to access traumas when one is not ready.

But what I’m implying is that traumas can actually be safely left aside during our personal growth journeys as we use the healing modality of our choice to gain a deeper connection with who (or what) we really are. We just need to be aware that all traumas will eventually need to be processed as we grow, so we expect them to come up when we’re ready.

And when the traumas do resurface, the first thing we’ll do is thank them for being the initial impulses that set us off on the personal development journey that brought us to where we are today.

Then, turning away from the past and taking up our pen, we look at the blank canvas before us and ask ourselves the only question there ever really was:

What story will we write next?