Many men want to figure out how to flirt with a girl without being awkward, but obsessing over avoiding any awkwardness when talking and flirting with women is a total chemistry-killer.
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in February 2020.
Why?
Let’s take a look at flirting with women. What is it, really?
At the core, flirting implies some level of sexual attraction. You approaching a woman implies you’re potentially interested in having sex with her…whether that’s just for a night, a lifetime, or anything in between.
And there needs to be chemistry sparked between you and a woman for sex to feel like a good idea for both of you.
What is sexual chemistry? It’s sexual tension. Without tension getting sparked, very few women are going to be sexually attracted to you.
Awkwardness is also a form of tension. So if you’re all worried about how to flirt with a girl without being awkward, you’re probably never going to create the sexual tension (chemistry) needed to create anything more than a friendly, platonic connection.
That is if you approach her and try to flirt with her to begin with. Many men just never approach women at all because they let this fear and aversion to awkwardness own them.
You’re approaching a girl you’re sexually attracted to (or at least interested in maybe having sex with) – IT’S PROBABLY GOING TO BE A LITTLE AWKWARD. And trying to figure out some way to avoid all awkwardness in conversations with women is just a quick route to the friend zone.
The sooner you accept that awkwardness is ok, normal, and just a natural part of flirting, the sooner you can start co-creating those beautiful sparks of chemistry with women. It’s being direct and telling them you like them. It’s really looking deep into a woman’s eyes and holding good eye contact, even when it feels a little uncomfortable and awkward.
It’s letting go of your filter and saying what you’re really thinking, and much more importantly, what you’re feeling.
The better you get at accepting, managing, and relaxing with awkwardness (along with other forms of tension), the more masculine and attractive you become to women. Because you’re showing up as a man who can handle his shit. Who can handle women. Who can handle emotions.
And the less awkward things become that felt terribly awkward to you before. Another way of looking at is something I’m sure you’ve heard many times before: Getting out of your comfort zone. Learning to be comfortable being uncomfortable.
Picture a confident man who’s really good with women who you know, or know of.
Russell Brand, for example. George Clooney. Brad Pitt. Ryan Reynolds. Elvis. Cassanova himself.
Do you think any of these men let fear of awkwardness stop them from being direct and sexual and taking chances with women?
They step right into tension with women. They’re ok with it being a little awkward. And that confidence and realness and ability to handle tension is the very thing that makes them so attractive to women and turns women on.
See if you can even start enjoying the tension. Even 1% at a time. Enjoy that feeling in your body as a feeling of being really alive and as part of the dance of flirting, attraction, and sex. Because it is.
Related:
Sexual Tension: How to Create Chemistry with a Woman (Video Demo)
8 Keys to Compliment a Woman Without Being Creepy
One of Your Biggest Communication Problems is Your Filter
How To Hold Eye Contact
